Clive Williams is an internet researcher and writer on many genres. He has a BSc. Degree in Information Systems.
Yes, at one point I was living in a shell
Swallowed up by the storm of anxiety and depression, tormented like a wretched soul from hell
My mind was clouded with bombarded insignificant thoughts
I felt like the world was a box and I a jigsaw puzzle broken apart
I was scared to go outside, all I wanted was a dark room and a bed
I was a living person, but inside was dead
The house became a haven for rats and roaches because I lost will
As negative thoughts pounded my brain like a wall being drilled
What is this feeling? How will I escape this quicksand pulling me in
I woke up, tried to get out of bed but my tears brought me back in
I peeked through the dirty glass window to see what was happening outside
Depression bedded me for two weeks, and to the world I was blind
I cried, I ate, I yelled, I screamed but nothing seemed to work
All I had was a weakened state of mind and compelling feelings which hurt
But I knew that I couldn’t let this take me in forever
I couldn’t throw away my life like a broken umbrella
I had to fester up the will to break the spell
I had to find some good thing to remind me of goodness and break open this shell
With my blanket over my shoulder I stretch across a stained tea cup
Reached for the blinds and opened them up
Then what I saw was something which reminded me of faith
As the sun shone through that window and lit up my face
Yes, there is still life in me, there is still the will not to just exist but to live
As the light shone on my face I began to reflect on all that was done, and all which I did.
I locked myself away in deep worrying thoughts, which only weakened me
When what I should have been doing was surrounding myself with positives to empower me
Things will happen in life which will bring us to our lowest self
But we have to get up and fight, you have to empower you when there is no one else
I beat depression, I vanquished the thoughts, the self-doubts and the pity
Now I am free with a clear mind, positive attitude, alive and happy.
© 2018 Clive Williams
Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on August 03, 2018:
It is a crippling disease. I know several who are clinically depressed. I'm glad you broke through, my friend.
Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on August 02, 2018:
Thanks Flourish and Rinita
Rinita Sen on August 02, 2018:
This is a difficult subject, and very less people like to talk about it, let alone write a poem on it. Whether solely from observation or from experience, you have expressed the feelings of a depressed person to the word. Kudos to you.
FlourishAnyway from USA on August 01, 2018:
For some people it’s a biochemical imbalance. Depression can be very debilitating.
Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on August 01, 2018:
Yes eric...the light
Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on August 01, 2018:
When we are all depressed why do we even bother getting out of bed? But you showed us the light -- thanks buddy.