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How You Hurt Me and Caused My Hatred and Suffering

Your abuse changed me for the worse.

Your abuse changed me for the worse.

You had no right. You misrepresented yourself. I still hate you for it.

It's unfair that people like you walk the Earth. Pretending to be wonderful. When actually the opposite of anything good.

You're a black hole. You're damaged goods. Thanks to you, I know how that feels.

It started out so differently. You were beauty. You were class. Your front was not easily decipherable. It was mysterious. Enchanting.

The cracks in your armor started to appear. Red flags fluttered down like leaves from a tree. You always had reasons. So many reasons.

I should have left. The first time I felt your fist. Your explanations always seemed justified. I pitied you when I should have pitied myself.

My empathy was never enough. You wouldn't be as good to me as I was to you. I hated you for being so horrible. For being unfair.

I hated myself for staying. For giving you far too many chances. For not having the strength to pull the plug on the sick joke that was our relationship.

I didn't want to die. Though I often thought about how much easier it would be if I did. A car wreck. Cancer. You were the cancer.

You were the parasite. I, the host. You sucked me dry of all empathy and kindness I had toward you. Yet, always it was my fault.

Sad songs became my solace. Too many tears were cried over you and your ridiculous, abusive ways.

The unforgivable aspect of this was your emotional and psychological abuse of my small child. However, this gave me the strength to finally leave.

You handled it as horribly as I predicted you would. Your stalking of us after filled me with yet another level of rage.

I prayed for your arrest. I prayed for your death. I hated you.

I still do. I await the news with eager anticipation that you've come to a bad end. Only then will I feel satisfied.

I am a kind, compassionate, caring man. I have a new family. We've all been together over a decade.

They adore me as much as I do, them. They treat me the way I deserved to be treated by you. You don't get to know them. You will never know them.

You will never know peace. You are a tortured soul. A completely walking, talking contradiction. I should pity you rather than hate you.

I should.

I can't.

I won't.

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