There's this nagging feeling
A secret I hold deeply in my heart.
Like a seedling sprouting, can't hold it back.
I like things people don't like.
While most people look outside
There's this special thing I keep hidden inside.
So precious that I am so afraid to take it out
To tell the world what I have.
How do you keep a secret when your heart is telling you to let it all out,
But your mind says there's danger when things you want are not always what people like?
How do you keep it hidden when all you want to do is dive in and never look back?
When what you want is on the other side.
I kept it hidden for almost three years now.
It excites me and terrifies me.
It keeps me awake at nights.
It makes my heart flutter its like a drug.
How do you keep a secret so beautiful?
How do you make yourself numb?
When all you want to do is to move forward, how do you hold yourself back?
Why is the world like that?
This is not the world I want.
My world is more colorful, different, and just.
Where a secret is not a secret but love.
The world I want is not this world where I have to hide.
© 2020 Old Notebook Poetry