How Do I Show How I Really Feel ?

Updated on December 6, 2017

Stripping Away The Bars

Yesterday is over and done

All I can say and think

What a day it was

I was so excited for what I could see and feel

It started out like an average morning

Where I would get up and eat breakfast

Soon I did a few things around the house

Then off to work we go

My wife drops me off in the area of my work and she heads to her work

She has to be in work two and half hours before me

Having some time

I enjoy walking around a local Salvation Army store

I love to look at all the things that come in

The different things people own and gave away

For one reason or another

Then I walk through the book section

Where the books are inexpensively priced

I walk past the romance and novel section

I like to dive into the real live action

I go to the non fiction and religion

This is where I begin to day dream

All my sweetest and greatest thoughts come alive

How nice it would be to do that ?

Look I found someone who followed their heart

Here is another book of love and excitement

One title after another doing and feeling the way I feel

There are some sad stories too

Where I read the cover and wonder how tough it was for that person

Then I look at the business section

I read each title as it moves me

I read the inside and the back cover

That gives me a quick fix

More often than not

I will buy a couple of books that spike my curiosity even further

My wife wonders when is enough enough

I tell her when I write my own book

Until that day

I keep getting inspired and uplifted

By the words of other people

Who stopped at nothing

To succeed

On this particular day my emotions where at an all time high

Maybe more emotional because of the holiday spirit

I am persuaded even deeper

So as I carry a couple of books in my hand

I see another title that tugs at my inner raw emotions

I usually have a sense of balance

Where I walk away at this point

I found I take pictures of the titles I like

So I can maybe buy one or two at a later date

Usually they are gone when I return in a few days

As I read one title

My mind races to the next

I know these are books I have never seen before now

So it is alright to leave them on the shelves

Tucked in their own little spot

Like little children tucked into bed

But this particular day

I couldn't walk away

I hit a very weak moment

Each of my thoughts created a stronger and deeper desire

I know I have a mile to walk

So reason kicks in and I leave a little edgy

Unsatisfied that I couldn't buy other books that I think I will like

I know I have many books at home already

I call it my window to the world

Where I am inspired and fulfilled with the grandest of all thoughts

Those thoughts create action

That action pushes me to new heights

That I could never of dreamed of before

A new direction I didn't expect

So after about a good forty five minutes of observing many books

I slowly could see my pile growing

Once again I have to remind you the reader

I have no car

So whatever I buy I must carry

Common sense dictates

Stop

Walk away

Not today

My emotions got the best of me

I have to be out of my mind

When I finally did stop

There were thirty three books in total

Ranging from size and shape

As I went before the counter

The young lady said something I haven't heard before

I heard her but didn't

As she rang up my total

I was quite pleased with the savings

I watched as another coworker passed her a plastic tote

She piled in the books

Grabbing two or three at a time

I looked at her in amazement and bewilderment

I bought these books and now I am only beginning on my journey

I should and could of stopped long before this moment of truth

I keep asking myself the same question

Did I really need all these books ?

Well with a deep breath and a sigh

I thanked her and asked her if she likes to read

She said I do

But with three little ones I usually read what they are reading

Then busy with work and home

I don't have much time for myself

As I walked out the door

I seen a little boy and his mother behind me

I used my should to hold the door for them

She smiled and as her son stopped at the candy dispenser

She said thanks but he wants something

I knew that feeling

The joy of getting something in those plastic bubbles

For only ten cents or a quarter when I was small

The joy was so powerful

I forgot to tell you the whole story

When we came here it was raining

So it could be pouring out right at this moment

It didn't matter

I had the lady give me a few extra plastic bags

So I could double bag the books myself and not hold up the line

I failed to see who was the unlucky person behind me

It was raining lightly

I carried the tote in front of me

Thinking why did I do this ?

It makes no sense ?

I could only walk a short distance before I had to put the books down

I am talking maybe fifteen steps and twenty the most

I looked at these wet blue bags that flickered from the rain

Later I weighed the books that I carried

They were a whapping sixty pounds

I thoughts many thoughts at this point

What it must feel like to be overweight

How hard it is to do what I do all the time

Just walk

Then I watched as cars drove by me

I wondered if they noticed the young man walking with a black tote

I think they were all too busy

It is the Christmas season where everyone is shopping

To be continued....



Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 months ago

      Tamara Yancosky Moore I think back to years ago and how many things have changed since then. Now that I have some good buys I have a lot of reading to do. Then again I have all winter. So many interests and so little time. So I pick my strongest influences and do what I can. The rest will be there when I am ready and able. Thank you for reading and coming to my hubs. That is so nice. Keep writing yourself and shoot for the stars.

    • Rhyme Vine Poetry profile image

      Tamara Yancosky Moore 

      7 months ago from Uninhabited Regions

      Michael,

      I love Salvation Army stores, Thrift Stores, Second-Hand, and Consignment shops! They have treasures of books; all kinds, all subjects, various genres can be found, and so inexpensive, too!

      Thank you for sharing your passion, and reminding me of my own.

      Tamara

      xxx

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      7 months ago

      shanmarie I was on the edge of seat writing this story because I hold nothing back. I want to thank you for being the first to read my tall tale , horror story, my own journey through the Wonderful World Of Books. What I am feeling. Why I am feeling what I am feeling. Who cares what I feel. The internal struggle. The outward physical struggle. All the why's ??? Then the uncertainty if anyone will read it? Will they like it ? Was I too vague. Could I clearify a few things? Well out it goes. If it was a bad idea the dump is open on next Tuesday I will have to wait. Until then I hold firm to my beliefs and try to explain something called my brain. In a non scientific way. In laymans terms. I live. I try. I learn. I try harder and do better. So the cycle goes. Thank you again for your support and your encouragement. Have a beautiful night.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      7 months ago from Texas

      This may be one of my favorite stories of yours. I too could go crazy on books, especially when they are cheap or free. And then I got a smart phone that came with the Kindle app on it and I discovered a ton of e-books at my fingertips. Of course, I still prefer the physical books, but a book is a book, I suppose, when I want to read. There are so many life lessons in a good story and things to contemplate. Enjoy all of your treasures.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, letterpile.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://letterpile.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)