He Doesnt Know Because He Cannot See
A poem I wrote to aid those in coping with emotional abuse and marital neglect
Photo by Kat J on Unsplash
He Doesn't Know because He Cannot See
He does not know
That I feel emotionally suffocated by him
to the point of forgetting to take an actual breath at times
which causes stress to tighten my joints and body thus causing physical pain
That I cannot sleep at night because
then I am alone with my thoughts
of hopelessness and despondency
where I can see no light ahead to inspire me
He has never glimpsed the image that I have of myself of
being pounded into the ground in my mind's eye
and then stomped on (so that I am now lower than the surface)
The fear I have of who to trust
to talk to about things that
most will never truly understand (I am happy for them)
He cannot see
how that it is not simply something that
I "can RELAX and not worry about"
as I have been so often told
How do I stop my body from reacting to unconscious thought?
I understand the truth that
my self-worth
is not predicated on how I am treated (or ignored profusely) by him
Intellectually I know that I am more than a mere object in his path
I am also
Something
that he is incapable of seeing
Something I am trying to recall
from my past
in hopes that my future
will only get better from here
Somehow
I need to find a way
to be okay
with the fact
that he cannot see
any of these things
and
Move ahead in daily life
like everyone else
I so desperately
want to be a part of
