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He Doesnt Know Because He Cannot See

A poem I wrote to aid those in coping with emotional abuse and marital neglect

Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

he-doesnt-know

He Doesn't Know because He Cannot See

He does not know

That I feel emotionally suffocated by him

to the point of forgetting to take an actual breath at times

which causes stress to tighten my joints and body thus causing physical pain

That I cannot sleep at night because

then I am alone with my thoughts

of hopelessness and despondency

where I can see no light ahead to inspire me

He has never glimpsed the image that I have of myself of

being pounded into the ground in my mind's eye

and then stomped on (so that I am now lower than the surface)

The fear I have of who to trust

to talk to about things that

most will never truly understand (I am happy for them)

He cannot see

how that it is not simply something that

I "can RELAX and not worry about"

as I have been so often told

How do I stop my body from reacting to unconscious thought?

I understand the truth that

my self-worth

is not predicated on how I am treated (or ignored profusely) by him

Intellectually I know that I am more than a mere object in his path

I am also

Something

that he is incapable of seeing

Something I am trying to recall

from my past

in hopes that my future

will only get better from here

Somehow

I need to find a way

to be okay

with the fact

that he cannot see

any of these things

and

Move ahead in daily life

like everyone else

I so desperately

want to be a part of



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