Half Baked Trifle: Dance of the Romantic Comedy Euphoric

Updated on April 19, 2018
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Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 10 years.

Places on the stage, everybody.

Time to get the appropriate attire and mindset for tonight

Set the stage for what came next rather accurately

Also, a little bit scarily as well.

Put on the most comfortable three inch heels you own

Tightest black leather pantsuit situated on the queen sized bed

A bachelorette pad specialty unlike any other

One that Emma Peel would love to pilfer out of the closet

Wore the slinkiest lingerie beneath everything else

Swayed to some special type of popular Top 40 love song

Vocalized by the ultimate pied piper of tenors

Stuck in a trance that's been hard to shake off

Hypnotized by the spell of unadulterated schoolgirl behavior

Squealing like a pig be chased to their trough or to slaughter

Skipped around like a 10 year old kid hopped up on Smarties

A speed freak of the street legal persuasion in extremis

Preached to the same choir as all of the other happy hooligans

Inspired by a rash of various token Hollywood cinematic slop

Where women turn into psychotics struck by the love bug

Eyes bulging out of their sockets like cartoon characters

Surprised they got duped once again by their on-air rivals

Unpolished Stepford Wives archetypes that cannot mask

The brainwashed mind controlled personalities underneath

Flesh and blood zombies that are legally still amongst living

A mixture of dead behind the eyes with some maniacal elation

Tossed in just make a passerby's skin crawl with each stare

Could not pass as extras of The Walking Dead just yet

Don't have the rhythm to jam in Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video

Although they found Vincent Price's manic laughter amusing

A call to arms as they plotted some lovably disturbing mayhem

Transformed into a modern day Glenn Close via Fatal Attraction

Once tamed curly hair turning into an array of wild animalistic behavior

The big it grows; the wilder the behavior gets

Intelligent dialogue fell by the wayside for one word syllables

Frightened by the thought of losing what remained of individuality

To follow the mindset of a borderline Scientology based group

Not quite a cult, but pretty close to it

When two becomes one, there's always a loss of self

Fought hard not to lose what made these two halves come together

That would be ultimate tragedy indeed

Determined to function best in pairs and as individuals

That way nothing got lost in the shuffle.

Emma Peel: spy, lover of leather pantsuits and wholly independent.
Emma Peel: spy, lover of leather pantsuits and wholly independent.

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