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Funny Pun about Leo the Lion

Leo the Lion

Leo the Lion

Leo the Lion

When Leo was young

Africa was his home.

He was king of the jungle

Wherever he did roam.


“Who’s the king of the jungle?”

To each animal he would call.

‘You are, oh mighty lion,

You’re the strongest of them all.’


Whether cheetah or monkey

Hippopotamus or donkey,

Every animal agreed

Leo was the king indeed.

One day Leo wandered afar.

He asked a huge bull elephant.

“Who’s the king of the jungle?”

The beast thought him irrelevant.


Leo persisted,

“Who is the king?”

The elephant resisted

And said nothing.


After the third query

The elephant looked peeved

Threw Leo against a tree

Stomped him and turned to leave.


Bruised and battered

Our hero arose

Flashed his middle finger

And yelled this prose,

"You didn’t have to stomp me so,

'cause you didn’t know the answer, bro."

After this episode

Leo stopped his rap,

His confidence eroded,

He fell into a trap.


Poachers captured him

To a circus he was sold.

There he would stay

Until he grew too old.


He now lived in a cage,

He learned to growl on cue

And roar with pretended rage

At me and you and you.


He longed for the freedom

That he had before

Though he enjoyed the shrieks

When he began to roar.


But time marched on,

He had problems with his teeth

Soon he had lost all those above

And then the rest beneath.

A toothless lion

Is not a celebrity

The circus found a buyer

A doctor of longevity.


He took pity on Leo

And brought him home as a pet.

Although Leo looked ferocious

Not to worry, not to sweat.


There was never any danger

Leo lay in front of the door.

He might growl at a stranger.

But he was Jungle King no more.


He’d sunbathe at the doorsill

Like a large shaggy doormat.

Stepping over him was an ordeal,

The doctor followed that format.

This scientist studied dolphins

He soon learned they thrived

And led long healthy lives

When they ate birds alive.


He believed with the right diet

No salt, no fats, no carbs ever

These porpoises he carefully fed

Would live and be well f o r e v e r.


Their latest diet was seagulls,

This food appeared to be working

But the press leaked the story

Soon danger was lurking.


One morning as Lionel was dozing

He opened up one eye.

Some strange men were there

Wearing badges spelled F. B. I.

The doctor answered the door,

With seagulls still in his hands.

“Who are you looking for?”

These men could ruin his plans.

By badges he wasn’t impressed.


“You,” said the Agent.

You are under arrest,”

“What is the charge?

“Mr. Agent-at-Large?”


The answer: “Transporting gulls over a staid lion for immortal porpoises.”

funny-pun-number-two

“The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability.” – Edgar Allan Poe

To me, there is no doubt . . . Edgar knew what he was talking about.

© 2011 drbj and sherry

Comments

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on December 31, 2011:

Now that was good, Gerry. That was really good. So good I probably will take credit for it . . . some day. Thanks for leaving a bit of your wit at this sit, I mean site.

sligobay from east of the equator on December 30, 2011:

So many gulls crossing staid boredness

Lion around with ageless porpoise

Agents obsessed with homeland security

Arresting a vet for moral impurity.

sligobay

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on December 13, 2011:

'Witty and brilliant,' lex? You may be my newest BFF. Delighted to amaze you with this series of puns. You might like to peruse one of my famous Interviews with Dead People as well. Start with Genghis Khan - he was the first. Let me know what you think and thank you for the visit.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on December 13, 2011:

Thank you, Docmo, for the 'truly awesome' and 'loving this series.' I will earnestly endeavor to maintain this superior level of punditry. Promise.

lex123 on December 12, 2011:

Your witty and brilliant poem captured so many minds!! drbj, your ability in writing this type of pun is amazing!

Mohan Kumar from UK on December 11, 2011:

Truly awesome!Love this series!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on December 01, 2011:

You may most definitely say so, Jim. I'm tired of being the only one who says that. Please do read on - only 5 more horrendous puns to go. So far.

Springboard from Wisconsin on December 01, 2011:

Another masterpiece if I may say so. I am definitely going to enjoy reading on.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 27, 2011:

Hi, Colin, winter is on my doorstep, too. The latest weather report indicates a cold front approaching by the middle of the week. Daytime temps in the 70s and at night, the 60s. Brrrrrrrrr. It's all relative, isn't it?

Thank you for applying that legendary status to me - funniest and wittiest, eh? I could not hope for more! Intend to keep on commenting on your fabulously inventive epigram hubs for as long as you will permit me. :)

epigramman on November 27, 2011:

.....well I take my epi hat off to you as one of the funniest/and most witty writers ever here at the Hub - just your comments alone to me would guarantee that legendary status - hope all is well with you - winter is on my doorstep up here by lake erie time 5:45pm ontario canada

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 22, 2011:

I got the message, Elle, and I am especially fond of your insightful nephew who appreciates high class literature. That boy will go far. Your masochism quota is now full? Then it's time to start my sadistic sagas. Heh, heh.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 22, 2011:

Fun, fun, fun, b.? Then my work is practically done, done, done. After I write ten funny punny puns in all. Or go completely bonkers, whichever comes first. And thanks for the clever, dear.

RedElf from Canada on November 21, 2011:

oooooooooooooooooooooooooh - need I say more? My nephew worships you - I find however, that, I have expanded my masochism quota for the day and must refrain from further puns!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 11, 2011:

Hey, Kelly, how did you know it was the RIGHT eye?

b. Malin on November 10, 2011:

Oh No...You are Truly the Best Drbj...and so Clever...This was Fun, fun, Fun!

Kelly Umphenour from St. Louis, MO on November 10, 2011:

Just make sure you put the patch on the right eye and for heavens sakes don't read too much - oh yeah...I'll stop here! Lol

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 10, 2011:

No 'apolo' necessary, Alastar, it's tough being on any branch these days.

Alastar Packer from North Carolina on November 09, 2011:

Apolo for the dumb pun drbj, its tough being in the judicial branch these days.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 09, 2011:

You may not have been the first, Alastar, with the 'punny,' but your comment wins the prize. Thank you, my friend.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 09, 2011:

Hi, Kelly, Delighted you found number two, if you know what I mean. Clever girl, you caught the middle finger allusion.

Thanks for inquiring about my eye - it is getting all better.

Alastar Packer from North Carolina on November 09, 2011:

Doggone it drbj! Somebody got the punny first! Oh well, punny is funny but not as punny as this funny!

Kelly Umphenour from St. Louis, MO on November 09, 2011:

Drbj - I'm so glad I saw you published Pun Number 3 - I knew I missed number two! So glad I hunted it down....LOL. Like how he used the middle finger before his prose! Hahaha!

Btw - I hope your eye is getting better!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 09, 2011:

Yes, snakeslane, I did draw this one out for awhile. Hope you weren't too scared hanging off the cliff 'til I gave you my drift. Does add to the suspense, doncha think?

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 09, 2011:

Hi, Sheila - why did you think it was the Boston F.B.I.? I'm thinking Florida or California where porpoises are more plentiful. And there's also more sunshine for Leo to enjoy.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 09, 2011:

A perfect poem, pras? You are much too kind, my friend. Thank you for pressing all those buttons. Makes my day, you know. Blessings and hugs to you, too, on the other side of the world.

Verlie Burroughs from Canada on November 09, 2011:

Ok drbj I finally got your drift, but you left me hanging so long I almost fell off the cliff! snakeslane

sheila b. on November 09, 2011:

Boston FBI, huh?

prasetio30 from malang-indonesia on November 09, 2011:

I never doubted your talent in creating wonderful hub, start from interview, history, even for poem. This was one of the perfect poem you have. I give my vote to you and I'll press all buttons here, (useful, funny, awesome, beautiful, interesting). Have a good day. Cheers.....

Blessing and hugs, Prasetio

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 08, 2011:

Thank you, John. I always feel vindicated for these really bad puns when I know there is a groan at the end. Edgar knew that, too.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 08, 2011:

I don't know how I do it either, Hanna. Must be my warped mind, as Holle (habee) calls it. Thanks for the brilliantly written and the super. Funny, I was just going to say the same about you.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 08, 2011:

We with the warped minds have to stick together, Holle. There is power in numbers. We just have to keep warping away. Thanks for the clever and the up, m'dear.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 08, 2011:

How do I think up these 'gems,' Feline? Easy! I just ponder a bit and say to myself, now how would Feline write about this and what would she say :)

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 08, 2011:

Was it legal, Will? I dunno but it was, in your words, punny. Thanks for the visit and the up, pardner.

John MacNab from the banks of the St. Lawrence on November 08, 2011:

Edgar Allan knew what he was talking about drbj. Nice one with a groan at the end.

Hello, hello, from London, UK on November 08, 2011:

A brilliantly written poem. I don't how you do it? You are super.

Holle Abee from Georgia on November 08, 2011:

Oh, my friend, you do have a warped mind...just like me! lol. Very clever! voted up.

Feline Prophet on November 07, 2011:

Hahaha...however do you think up these gems? :)

WillStarr from Phoenix, Arizona on November 07, 2011:

Oh, brother! Are you sure that was legal?

Up and punny!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 06, 2011:

Delighted you think this is cute, Martie. Thanks for the 'unique' comment. With regard to your comparison of me to a pachyderm, I'll have to ponder that one. Hope you were referring only to the exhibition of power and not appearance.

Although I am older than soil, I don't have that many wrinkles . . . yet! Love your 'pebble in your webble' remark. Now how can I use that?

Martie Coetser from South Africa on November 06, 2011:

This is truly so cute, I will buy it. You are so unique drbj, I wish I could see you walking and talking with my own eyes. I see you as an elephant, thinking: "Who the heck are you, dear lion, to call yourself the king of the jungle? Come closer let me put a pebble in your webble..."

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 06, 2011:

Ah, a soul mate. At last! Strange, eh? I prefer to think of it as a wild imagination. At least that's what I tell those people at the institution.

Thank you, my pet, love your new avatar.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 06, 2011:

Oh, Becky, you are so punny, er, funny. Now that I have you under my spell, you will read the rest of my 132 hubs - some are groans, some are moans, some about thrones, one about phones, but never any clones. Thanks for the immense enjoyment. No charge, m'dear.

CMHypno from Other Side of the Sun on November 06, 2011:

You crack me up drbj! So funny! At last a mind as strange as my own.

Becky Katz from Hereford, AZ on November 06, 2011:

This is a horrible thing you are doing. Making me read your punny poems. I am enjoying them immensely.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 05, 2011:

Hi, christopher. Thanks for reading my 'funny poem with a very clever pun.' I knew you would appreciate puns, especially the groaningest ones.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 05, 2011:

Hi, Rosemary, Anyone who goes 'ha, ha" at my hubs is a Hubbuddy of mine. Thanks for loving this pun and the 'funny and witty.'

And you picked up on the ... 'didn't know the answer, bro' ... joke, too. You are perceptive, m'dear. Love your 'lion won't eat clowns' line - you know I'll find a way to use it. :)

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 05, 2011:

Hi, Ruby. Yes, HP seems to be having a few glitches these days - omitting notifications of emails and repeating comments up to 3 times. But I have faith they will get their act together.

I'm gratified, nay, delighted I made you smile and laugh. Thank you for the 'cute, witty and fun to read.' So are you m'luv, so are you. Leo sends his best.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 05, 2011:

Hi, Derdriu. How wonderful that I can count on you to provide imaginative and gracious comments. What a great summary your description makes ... 'a clever nail-biter of a poem with a completely unexpected ending in which justice triumphs ... ' Thank you for the up ad the etc., too.

I agree, Edgar was prescient.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 05, 2011:

Nice to meet you, Audrey. Thanks for finding this a fun read. Succinct but stimulating you are.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 05, 2011:

Happy you were able to make it to the punchline at the end - that you didn't expect. And delighted, Paradise, that you liked this. The basis of most humor, I have discovered, is the unexpected. Would you agree?

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 05, 2011:

Hi, dennisfelix - welcome. Thanks for liking this a lot and do share, by all means. Like classic humor? You betcha!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 05, 2011:

Thank you, Susan, for finding this fun to read. 'Making your day a little brighter' makes my day brighter, too. Honest.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on November 05, 2011:

Welcome to my world, lavender. "Awesome, funny and witty?" You do know the right things to say. Delighted I was able to remind you how funny puns can be. Thanks for being the first to comment. Now take a look at Funny Pun - Number One.

Christopher Antony Meade from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom on November 05, 2011:

Thanks for another funny poem, with a very clever pun.

Rosemary Sadler from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand on November 05, 2011:

Haha This is so funny and witty, loved the pun

And this had me in fits "You didn’t have to stomp me so, 'cause you didn’t know the answer, bro."

Did you know a circus lion won't eat clowns because they taste funny

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on November 05, 2011:

I didn't get my mail from Hubpages and i was feeling low, having to go into my account and find the Hubbers i follow, but this made me smile...No not smile..LOL.. I love Leo. This is so cute and witty. Your rhyming is so much fun to read..Thank you...

Derdriu on November 05, 2011:

drbj: What a clever nail-biter of a poem with a completely unexpected ending in which justice triumphs for Lionel!

Thank you, voted up, etc.,

Derdriu

P.S. EAP knew what he was talking about.

Audrey Howitt from California on November 05, 2011:

Fun read!

Paradise7 from Upstate New York on November 05, 2011:

Well, you got to the punch line in the end. I liked this one because I didn't expect it at all!

dennisfelix from nottingham on November 05, 2011:

This is like classic humour, I like it a lot. Has to be shared!!

Susan Zutautas from Ontario, Canada on November 05, 2011:

This was so much fun to read. Thanks for making my day a little brighter.

lavender3957 on November 05, 2011:

This is so awesome, funny and witty, I loved this. I use to read puns when I was a kid and forgot just how funny they are. Thanks for sharing.