Figure It Out
Figure It Out
What if someone you loved lost everything?
What if you watched the one
You cared deeply for lose that fight
To survive something in their mind?
Nothing but unforgettable moments
Embedded within one’s memories
Overpowers every urge to escape.
That thought of escape
That seeps its way in
Only after realizing that person
Is the only one who can dust it all off
And climb out of internal misery.
Regardless of your choices
Or another’s intentions,
Regardless of where the blame lands
Or how the fault is divided,
Regardless of what percentage
Of prevention is possible,
Nothing but suffering shines through
In the truest form of feeling
Naked under the sheets
And trapped in a room full of strangers.
The shame that comes with fighting
To hold on to or hide one’s dignity
Is ripped from their hands.
Shame colors our cheeks red
As we start to enable the misery
As we watch our loved one beg
For empathy and we give in.
We convince ourselves
That they’ll stop.
We convince ourselves
That it’s a phase.
We convince ourselves
If we just give them what they want
They’ll come home.
We convince ourselves
They hurt more and we just want their pain to end
We convince ourselves
We aren’t hurting just as much.
We convince ourselves
We can keep them in our lives
If we just enable their habit.
Regardless of what you’re
Working towards getting back,
Regardless of what you may
Regain with time and effort,
Your loved one kneels and
Falters as they hide behind
The confines of your glass restraints
Surrounded by the tattered chains
Neatly tightened around their neck.
When they need you the most,
When they try even harder to hide the pain,
When they desperately pray for
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The courage to beg you to look
At the bright red rings
Burning around their wrists
That both of you willingly tightened.
Both sets of fists are unknowingly stripped
Of the ability to hold any
Raw sense of dignity left.
This helpless gem of a human being
That you found in a sea of sticks and stones
Just can’t seem to find a way back
To a solid grip of reality
As they continue to trap themselves
Inside their own darkened brain.
That unique individual that
You shared irreplaceable and
Lasting moments with
Sinks to their knees in front of you
Full of tears and heartache,
So what do you do?
This dying soul you swore to support
Come what may refuses to stand,
Blindly sits still at an unbearable distance.
From experience, that individual
Tends to be left in the dust.
They watch every single person
Turn their backs as they justify
And turn a blind eye from the cries for help.
What do you do when you watch
Someone you love stare at a phone screen
Waiting for a call or a message
Or some sort of sign that they do
Deserve a life without hardship?
You can’t seem to find the reason
Why they should continue to fight.
All you have is a feeling deep in your own gut.
Do you walk away despite how badly
You want to help them up?
Do you walk away despite how much
You wish you could take the pain away?
Do they deserve to relish in
The beauty only life can provide?
Do they ever get to devour
The entirety of that coveted dessert
Labeled, “Happiness?”
How do you show that loved one
They have always deserved the world?
You walk away and just listen.
Be there when they’re ready
To give it all up for unconditional love
And support them with nothing
But a listening ear from a distance.
That loved one will fight to find a way
When there is no one left to do it for them.
© 2021 Grace Peterson
