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Feminine Rebellion: Choosing Self Over Love

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.

Is it better be an individual or in a lifelong partnership?

Depends on who you ask in the end

Had a misguided notion that there was a pot for every lid

No matter how mismatched they seemed to appear on the outside

Made sense once everything lined up perfectly

Realized that perfection was relative and that reality more difficult

A lot more cracks in the foundation than what met the untrained eye

Pictured a portrait of a future that faded away in a rainstorm

Materials not strong enough to hold in the mildest of chaos

Paint that doesn't hold up when the material never bonded together

Once the material started to separate; that was all she wrote

Given up on the idea of a clear cut future when the past

Wasn't fully washed away just yet from the canvas

A few remnants have remained after numerous opportunities

To wipe the slate clean and start over from scratch

Subconsciously dreading the idea of going back to the beginning

After so much time being wasted with a source that wasn't worth it

Sure, got a few strokes of inspiration, but nothing to match the sadness

An end result that was a lot more clumsy than its beginning

Starting to believe that love doesn't seem to be in the cards

For a lone wolf that was hard to pin down and figure out

Thought that my last accomplice had a modicum of an idea

Who they were working with and playing with

Turned out that they were pretending to have a clue

Phoning in their sense of genuine emotion to pass time

Until either something better came along or an ideal exit

What a cruel joke that those 27 months turned out to be

Only one not in on the joke was yours truly

Trying to find a way to look forward to a new chapter

Scared by the thought to meeting someone new

Afraid of getting burned by another pathetic wolf in sheep's clothing

Looking for solid ground to step on before taking another step

Searching for the confidence to enjoy my own company

Starting to feel some satisfaction in that; not all the time

Just enough to not get bored with being alone

Taking the smallest of steps before venturing out

Into the dating scene once again

Will not give up on a future because of one false step

With a pretender acting like they were the real deal

Defeats the purpose of being a survivor and a rebel


Appearances can be rather deceiving.

Appearances can be rather deceiving.

Comments

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on April 21, 2020:

Great poetry.

I can feel your heartache.

This part, "Given up on the idea of a clear cut future when the past

Wasn't fully washed away just yet from the canvas

Tells quite alot.

I don't know how long it takes until the remnants wash awsy,, especially if you are still in contact.

Thanks for sharing.

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