Facing My Fears
Each one of my poems and short stories are little pieces of my heart and soul. I don't like to share them but someone told me I should...
Facing My Fears
Afraid of living
Afraid of dying
Afraid of breathing
Afraid of losing
Afraid of winning
Afraid of being afraid
Living life in constant fear
That fear of taking in every
Moment and every embrace
Fear of my own emotions
Fear of where it will take me
Scared of delving deeper
Scared of exploring the happiness
I feel with every conversation
Scared of every second
I move closer to falling
The hesitation is not
Fear of the rejection
Finding myself fighting
The urge to move a little closer
Scares me more than
Anything ever has because
I don’t want to fall
I don’t want to enjoy falling
I want to sabotage every possibility
Of experiencing anything close
To the love I lost
Fear of my own emotions
Fear of my own intentions
Fear of the urge to run from it
Fear of not wanting to run
Fear of the way this makes me feel
Fear of how much I want to
Fear of how much I don’t want to
Sitting in turmoil
And squirming in my seat
Because I already know
Where it all might lead me
And for once it doesn’t feel
Like it’ll break me
Like it’ll hurt me
Like it’ll crush my heart
But I can’t trust myself
For years I followed that feeling
For so long I listened to
Myself and no one else
Sometimes I force myself
To forget the truth of my reality:
I’m not ready to face those fears
Sometimes I ignore the signs
Reminding me how much
I’m not ready for love
Not right now
Not until I romance myself
And fall in love with me
© 2021 Grace Peterson