Except My Pen - Modified Villanelle
Background
This poem is written from the perspective of a person who suffers from partial amnesia. She can remember certain things, and certain other things are either jumbled up or she cannot figure them out at all. She also remembers she is supposed to meet someone, someone special, but cannot remember other details. She tries to name each and every object she comes across, in some she succeeds, in others her efforts go in vain. However, the only thing she remembers is that feeling she gets when she holds her pen, because writing is in her blood, and that is where she tries to stop and draw her other partial memories in.
The Poem
Memories lost at thy solemn feet
Vacuum spiraling vaguely upward
Said this is where we’ll meet
Savage and intertwined
They rock me from my soul
Memories lost at thy solemn feet
I pick up the grass or so
Green, the color can speak
Said this is where we’ll meet
Roads that go to a distance
Encapsulated journeys strike
Memories lost at thy solemn feet
Clouds, grey, white, and blue?
The shade of a tree, the bird unnamed
Said this is where we’ll meet
A crumpled piece of old twig
Accustomed yet unjustified
Memories lost at thy solemn feet
Ink that flows through the vein
All disarrayed, except for my pen
Memories lost at thy solemn feet
Said this is where we’ll meet
Comments
AUTHORThank you, Li-Jen. It is always great to have you read my poems. You bring a fresh perspective through your comparison of the old age. Good to know that the theme stood out.
Hey Rinita, I like that you divide the poem by fragments of memories of the lady with amnesia. It reminds me of the philosophy that as we age, we become more like babies as the lady struggles to find the vocabulary. It's very innocent of her when she says green the colour we speak/ bird unnamed. The fragments put together make the theme of amnesia obvious. Lovely poem. Thanks for sharing.
- AUTHOR
Thank you LadyFiddler.
Very nice poetry
Have a Bless day
- AUTHOR
Thanks a lots PseuMcCoy. I feel Villanelle is a form that requires mixing rhythm with the right kind of thoughts, and requires the right topics as well. Thanks so much for leaving such a wonderful comment. I am happy the villanelle inspired you.
Beautifully executed idea. Villanelle may seem easy but to come up with a lovely piece like this requires lot of creativity. And that my fellow hubber, you posses!
Ah,I am inspired!!
- AUTHOR
Thanks you Audrey for your heartfelt comment. This form is hard, yes, but till now of the forms I tried the hardest I found was a sonnet!
nk that flows through the vein
All disarrayed, except for my pen
Memories lost at thy solemn feet
Said this is where we’ll meet
Lovely, lovey piece--and this form is hard (I think)
- AUTHOR
Glad you liked it Sueswan. Thanks a bunch.
Hi Senoritaa
This is so beautiful yet poignant.
Voted up and away!
- AUTHOR
Thanks a lot once again ytsenoh. Glad you liked the villanelle.
This was really well done. The language was well thought out and so giving. Great job.
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- AUTHOR
Thanks a lot lyricwriter. This one was particularly difficult to express, and I am glad it found its way to your mind.
Up, useful, and beautiful. Such a beautiful well written poem Senoritaa. This one is by far my favorite from you. Keeo it up.
- AUTHOR
Thanks a lot Sunnie. Definitely you should try it, and I am sure you will do an awesome job. Take care. :)
This was so beautiful and unique..I loved this so much..I would love to try this one day.
Take care my gifted friend,
Sunnie
- AUTHOR
Thanks a bunch Vinaya for that wonderful comment. I am glad my poem could be a reason of your share of joy for different styles.
Though I do not compose poems in different forms, I feel elated to read poems in different styles. I loved this villanelle, the word pictures are beautiful and the rhythm very sonorous.
- AUTHOR
Thanks a lot Vincent for that heartfelt comment. I too truly believe true verses are those that are written from the very soul.
It has always amazed me at the various styles of poetry and how they are used when writing. In essence what comes off the pen of a true poet like yourself is velvet and beautifully blended verse to make sense and have your reader feel your impact and see the imagery you are presenting. I write mainly from my soul and the imagery is in front of my vision as I lay my words down. Voted Up, awesome and beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
- AUTHOR
Thanks a lot Crystar. Appreciate your visit.
Very clever. Beautiful work.
- AUTHOR
@Caroline: Thanks a lot again for visiting.
@always: Sure you must try it, I know you are going to excel at it, too. Thanks for your visit.
@sofs: I must say that is a common opinion for this poem. Maybe for a poem like this I should place the explanation ahead of the poem. You know what, I am going to do that now. Thanks for your visit. You have a great weekend as well.
This is really beautiful. I like your explanation. Very creative.
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Hmm.. This is interesting writing.. I only understood the poem after I read your explanation.. it made sense then.. Enjoyed the imagery your poems create, it is easy to enjoy poetry that is rich in imagery. Have a wonderful weekend!
I simply loved this, but the first thing i thought of was----Oh another way to write poetry, Hummm I gotta try! Thank you...
- AUTHOR
Haha. Can't believe you got thrown our of class for Shakespeare. LOL
Sure you can give me any suggestion. Feel free to give it to me right here. :)
This is why I read these poems from you because , where I grew up I had very difficult time with Shakespeare ,got thrown out of class, but excelled in the subject.the teacher was the problem , she wanted her style , to be a certain way, in the islands we call it show off, and she did.
I look forward to those explanations that follow.
I have a suggestion for you If I may , give the ok I will send it e/mail, I will never otherwise.
Like Frank it helped me and can't say was. It's a great poem.
Thanks for sharing.
Bless.
- AUTHOR
LOL Frank sorry I got you all confused. Oops!
Thanks for the visit :)
First thanks for the explanation.. secondly.. thanks for the wonderful share.. the words were flowing freely and written well but I didn't know where I was going until you explained it then it made sense.. I'm sorry Senoritaa but I am as dumb as I look :) Great share
- AUTHOR
Thank you so much Eddy. I love being a hubber as well as this is a great place to learn and grow as a writer. I have learned so much from you as well.
I am happy to be your friend, and hope to cherish memorable moments around here. Take care.
This is so intersting and beautifully written. I have followed examples of others and have conquered the learning of other genre.
However this week I am hooked onto researching the Cherokees.
You are indeed a very gifted writer and I am looking forward to sharing hubs;friendship etc with you my friend.
HubPages is indeed such a pleasant and amazing community and I am so proud to be a member.
I vote up up and away here.
Take care and enjoy your day;
Eddy.
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