Except My Pen - Modified Villanelle

Updated on December 6, 2018
Senoritaa profile image

Rinita is a creative writer, with focus on poetry. She delves into several forms including Haiku/Senryu, Sonnets, Free Verse, and Prose.

Background

This poem is written from the perspective of a person who suffers from partial amnesia. She can remember certain things, and certain other things are either jumbled up or she cannot figure them out at all. She also remembers she is supposed to meet someone, someone special, but cannot remember other details. She tries to name each and every object she comes across, in some she succeeds, in others her efforts go in vain. However, the only thing she remembers is that feeling she gets when she holds her pen, because writing is in her blood, and that is where she tries to stop and draw her other partial memories in.

The writer and her pen
The writer and her pen | Source

The Poem

Memories lost at thy solemn feet

Vacuum spiraling vaguely upward

Said this is where we’ll meet


Savage and intertwined

They rock me from my soul

Memories lost at thy solemn feet


I pick up the grass or so

Green, the color can speak

Said this is where we’ll meet


Roads that go to a distance

Encapsulated journeys strike

Memories lost at thy solemn feet


Clouds, grey, white, and blue?

The shade of a tree, the bird unnamed

Said this is where we’ll meet


A crumpled piece of old twig

Accustomed yet unjustified

Memories lost at thy solemn feet


Ink that flows through the vein

All disarrayed, except for my pen

Memories lost at thy solemn feet

Said this is where we’ll meet


Questions & Answers

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      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        4 months ago

        Thank you, Li-Jen. It is always great to have you read my poems. You bring a fresh perspective through your comparison of the old age. Good to know that the theme stood out.

      • Li-Jen Hew profile image

        Li-Jen Hew 

        4 months ago

        Hey Rinita, I like that you divide the poem by fragments of memories of the lady with amnesia. It reminds me of the philosophy that as we age, we become more like babies as the lady struggles to find the vocabulary. It's very innocent of her when she says green the colour we speak/ bird unnamed. The fragments put together make the theme of amnesia obvious. Lovely poem. Thanks for sharing.

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        5 years ago

        Thank you LadyFiddler.

      • LadyFiddler profile image

        Joanna Chandler 

        5 years ago from On Planet Earth

        Very nice poetry

        Have a Bless day

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        6 years ago

        Thanks a lots PseuMcCoy. I feel Villanelle is a form that requires mixing rhythm with the right kind of thoughts, and requires the right topics as well. Thanks so much for leaving such a wonderful comment. I am happy the villanelle inspired you.

      • PseudoMcCoy profile image

        Prajwal Kharel 

        6 years ago from Chennai

        Beautifully executed idea. Villanelle may seem easy but to come up with a lovely piece like this requires lot of creativity. And that my fellow hubber, you posses!

        Ah,I am inspired!!

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        7 years ago

        Thanks you Audrey for your heartfelt comment. This form is hard, yes, but till now of the forms I tried the hardest I found was a sonnet!

      • AudreyHowitt profile image

        Audrey Howitt 

        7 years ago from California

        nk that flows through the vein

        All disarrayed, except for my pen

        Memories lost at thy solemn feet

        Said this is where we’ll meet

        Lovely, lovey piece--and this form is hard (I think)

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        7 years ago

        Glad you liked it Sueswan. Thanks a bunch.

      • profile image

        Sueswan 

        7 years ago

        Hi Senoritaa

        This is so beautiful yet poignant.

        Voted up and away!

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        7 years ago

        Thanks a lot once again ytsenoh. Glad you liked the villanelle.

      • ytsenoh profile image

        Cathy 

        7 years ago from Louisiana, Idaho, Kauai, Nebraska, South Dakota, Missouri

        This was really well done. The language was well thought out and so giving. Great job.

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        7 years ago

        Thanks a lot lyricwriter. This one was particularly difficult to express, and I am glad it found its way to your mind.

      • thelyricwriter profile image

        Richard Ricky Hale 

        7 years ago from West Virginia

        Up, useful, and beautiful. Such a beautiful well written poem Senoritaa. This one is by far my favorite from you. Keeo it up.

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        7 years ago

        Thanks a lot Sunnie. Definitely you should try it, and I am sure you will do an awesome job. Take care. :)

      • profile image

        Sunnie Day 

        7 years ago

        This was so beautiful and unique..I loved this so much..I would love to try this one day.

        Take care my gifted friend,

        Sunnie

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        7 years ago

        Thanks a bunch Vinaya for that wonderful comment. I am glad my poem could be a reason of your share of joy for different styles.

      • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

        Vinaya Ghimire 

        7 years ago from Nepal

        Though I do not compose poems in different forms, I feel elated to read poems in different styles. I loved this villanelle, the word pictures are beautiful and the rhythm very sonorous.

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        7 years ago

        Thanks a lot Vincent for that heartfelt comment. I too truly believe true verses are those that are written from the very soul.

      • profile image

        Vincent Moore 

        7 years ago

        It has always amazed me at the various styles of poetry and how they are used when writing. In essence what comes off the pen of a true poet like yourself is velvet and beautifully blended verse to make sense and have your reader feel your impact and see the imagery you are presenting. I write mainly from my soul and the imagery is in front of my vision as I lay my words down. Voted Up, awesome and beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        7 years ago

        Thanks a lot Crystar. Appreciate your visit.

      • profile image

        Crystar 

        7 years ago

        Very clever. Beautiful work.

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        7 years ago

        @Caroline: Thanks a lot again for visiting.

        @always: Sure you must try it, I know you are going to excel at it, too. Thanks for your visit.

        @sofs: I must say that is a common opinion for this poem. Maybe for a poem like this I should place the explanation ahead of the poem. You know what, I am going to do that now. Thanks for your visit. You have a great weekend as well.

      • carolinemd21 profile image

        Caroline Marie 

        7 years ago

        This is really beautiful. I like your explanation. Very creative.

      • sofs profile image

        Sophie 

        7 years ago

        Hmm.. This is interesting writing.. I only understood the poem after I read your explanation.. it made sense then.. Enjoyed the imagery your poems create, it is easy to enjoy poetry that is rich in imagery. Have a wonderful weekend!

      • always exploring profile image

        Ruby Jean Richert 

        7 years ago from Southern Illinois

        I simply loved this, but the first thing i thought of was----Oh another way to write poetry, Hummm I gotta try! Thank you...

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        7 years ago

        Haha. Can't believe you got thrown our of class for Shakespeare. LOL

        Sure you can give me any suggestion. Feel free to give it to me right here. :)

      • Sky9106 profile image

        Sky9106 

        7 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

        This is why I read these poems from you because , where I grew up I had very difficult time with Shakespeare ,got thrown out of class, but excelled in the subject.the teacher was the problem , she wanted her style , to be a certain way, in the islands we call it show off, and she did.

        I look forward to those explanations that follow.

        I have a suggestion for you If I may , give the ok I will send it e/mail, I will never otherwise.

        Like Frank it helped me and can't say was. It's a great poem.

        Thanks for sharing.

        Bless.

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        7 years ago

        LOL Frank sorry I got you all confused. Oops!

        Thanks for the visit :)

      • Frank Atanacio profile image

        Frank Atanacio 

        7 years ago from Shelton

        First thanks for the explanation.. secondly.. thanks for the wonderful share.. the words were flowing freely and written well but I didn't know where I was going until you explained it then it made sense.. I'm sorry Senoritaa but I am as dumb as I look :) Great share

      • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

        Rinita Sen 

        7 years ago

        Thank you so much Eddy. I love being a hubber as well as this is a great place to learn and grow as a writer. I have learned so much from you as well.

        I am happy to be your friend, and hope to cherish memorable moments around here. Take care.

      • Eiddwen profile image

        Eiddwen 

        7 years ago from Wales

        This is so intersting and beautifully written. I have followed examples of others and have conquered the learning of other genre.

        However this week I am hooked onto researching the Cherokees.

        You are indeed a very gifted writer and I am looking forward to sharing hubs;friendship etc with you my friend.

        HubPages is indeed such a pleasant and amazing community and I am so proud to be a member.

        I vote up up and away here.

        Take care and enjoy your day;

        Eddy.

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