Except My Pen - Modified Villanelle

Rinita is a creative writer, with focus on poetry. She delves into several forms including Haiku/Senryu, Sonnets, Free Verse, and Prose.

Background

This poem is written from the perspective of a person who suffers from partial amnesia. She can remember certain things, and certain other things are either jumbled up or she cannot figure them out at all. She also remembers she is supposed to meet someone, someone special, but cannot remember other details. She tries to name each and every object she comes across, in some she succeeds, in others her efforts go in vain. However, the only thing she remembers is that feeling she gets when she holds her pen, because writing is in her blood, and that is where she tries to stop and draw her other partial memories in.

The Poem

Memories lost at thy solemn feet

Vacuum spiraling vaguely upward

Said this is where we’ll meet

Savage and intertwined

They rock me from my soul

Memories lost at thy solemn feet

I pick up the grass or so

Green, the color can speak

Said this is where we’ll meet

Roads that go to a distance

Encapsulated journeys strike

Memories lost at thy solemn feet

Clouds, grey, white, and blue?

The shade of a tree, the bird unnamed

Said this is where we’ll meet

A crumpled piece of old twig

Accustomed yet unjustified

Memories lost at thy solemn feet

Ink that flows through the vein

All disarrayed, except for my pen

Memories lost at thy solemn feet

Said this is where we’ll meet

Comments

Rinita Sen (author) on April 06, 2019:

Thank you, Li-Jen. It is always great to have you read my poems. You bring a fresh perspective through your comparison of the old age. Good to know that the theme stood out.

Li-Jen Hew on April 06, 2019:

Hey Rinita, I like that you divide the poem by fragments of memories of the lady with amnesia. It reminds me of the philosophy that as we age, we become more like babies as the lady struggles to find the vocabulary. It's very innocent of her when she says green the colour we speak/ bird unnamed. The fragments put together make the theme of amnesia obvious. Lovely poem. Thanks for sharing.

Rinita Sen (author) on December 13, 2013:

Thank you LadyFiddler.

Joanna Chandler from On Planet Earth on December 13, 2013:

Very nice poetry

Have a Bless day

Rinita Sen (author) on September 25, 2012:

Thanks a lots PseuMcCoy. I feel Villanelle is a form that requires mixing rhythm with the right kind of thoughts, and requires the right topics as well. Thanks so much for leaving such a wonderful comment. I am happy the villanelle inspired you.

Prajwal Kharel from Chennai on September 25, 2012:

Beautifully executed idea. Villanelle may seem easy but to come up with a lovely piece like this requires lot of creativity. And that my fellow hubber, you posses!

Ah,I am inspired!!

Rinita Sen (author) on April 02, 2012:

Thanks you Audrey for your heartfelt comment. This form is hard, yes, but till now of the forms I tried the hardest I found was a sonnet!

Audrey Howitt from California on April 02, 2012:

nk that flows through the vein

All disarrayed, except for my pen

Memories lost at thy solemn feet

Said this is where we’ll meet

Lovely, lovey piece--and this form is hard (I think)

Rinita Sen (author) on February 20, 2012:

Glad you liked it Sueswan. Thanks a bunch.

Sueswan on February 19, 2012:

Hi Senoritaa

This is so beautiful yet poignant.

Voted up and away!

Rinita Sen (author) on January 29, 2012:

Thanks a lot once again ytsenoh. Glad you liked the villanelle.

Cathy from Louisiana, Idaho, Kauai, Nebraska, South Dakota, Missouri on January 29, 2012:

This was really well done. The language was well thought out and so giving. Great job.

Rinita Sen (author) on January 24, 2012:

Thanks a lot lyricwriter. This one was particularly difficult to express, and I am glad it found its way to your mind.

Richard Ricky Hale from West Virginia on January 24, 2012:

Up, useful, and beautiful. Such a beautiful well written poem Senoritaa. This one is by far my favorite from you. Keeo it up.

Rinita Sen (author) on January 19, 2012:

Thanks a lot Sunnie. Definitely you should try it, and I am sure you will do an awesome job. Take care. :)

Sunnie Day on January 19, 2012:

This was so beautiful and unique..I loved this so much..I would love to try this one day.

Take care my gifted friend,

Sunnie

Rinita Sen (author) on January 18, 2012:

Thanks a bunch Vinaya for that wonderful comment. I am glad my poem could be a reason of your share of joy for different styles.

Vinaya Ghimire from Nepal on January 17, 2012:

Though I do not compose poems in different forms, I feel elated to read poems in different styles. I loved this villanelle, the word pictures are beautiful and the rhythm very sonorous.

Rinita Sen (author) on January 17, 2012:

Thanks a lot Vincent for that heartfelt comment. I too truly believe true verses are those that are written from the very soul.

Vincent Moore on January 17, 2012:

It has always amazed me at the various styles of poetry and how they are used when writing. In essence what comes off the pen of a true poet like yourself is velvet and beautifully blended verse to make sense and have your reader feel your impact and see the imagery you are presenting. I write mainly from my soul and the imagery is in front of my vision as I lay my words down. Voted Up, awesome and beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

Rinita Sen (author) on January 17, 2012:

Thanks a lot Crystar. Appreciate your visit.

Crystar on January 17, 2012:

Very clever. Beautiful work.

Rinita Sen (author) on January 14, 2012:

@Caroline: Thanks a lot again for visiting.

@always: Sure you must try it, I know you are going to excel at it, too. Thanks for your visit.

@sofs: I must say that is a common opinion for this poem. Maybe for a poem like this I should place the explanation ahead of the poem. You know what, I am going to do that now. Thanks for your visit. You have a great weekend as well.

Caroline Marie on January 14, 2012:

This is really beautiful. I like your explanation. Very creative.

Sophie on January 14, 2012:

Hmm.. This is interesting writing.. I only understood the poem after I read your explanation.. it made sense then.. Enjoyed the imagery your poems create, it is easy to enjoy poetry that is rich in imagery. Have a wonderful weekend!

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on January 14, 2012:

I simply loved this, but the first thing i thought of was----Oh another way to write poetry, Hummm I gotta try! Thank you...

Rinita Sen (author) on January 14, 2012:

Haha. Can't believe you got thrown our of class for Shakespeare. LOL

Sure you can give me any suggestion. Feel free to give it to me right here. :)

Sky9106 from A beautiful place on earth. on January 14, 2012:

This is why I read these poems from you because , where I grew up I had very difficult time with Shakespeare ,got thrown out of class, but excelled in the subject.the teacher was the problem , she wanted her style , to be a certain way, in the islands we call it show off, and she did.

I look forward to those explanations that follow.

I have a suggestion for you If I may , give the ok I will send it e/mail, I will never otherwise.

Like Frank it helped me and can't say was. It's a great poem.

Thanks for sharing.

Bless.

Rinita Sen (author) on January 13, 2012:

LOL Frank sorry I got you all confused. Oops!

Thanks for the visit :)

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on January 13, 2012:

First thanks for the explanation.. secondly.. thanks for the wonderful share.. the words were flowing freely and written well but I didn't know where I was going until you explained it then it made sense.. I'm sorry Senoritaa but I am as dumb as I look :) Great share

Rinita Sen (author) on January 12, 2012:

Thank you so much Eddy. I love being a hubber as well as this is a great place to learn and grow as a writer. I have learned so much from you as well.

I am happy to be your friend, and hope to cherish memorable moments around here. Take care.

Eiddwen from Wales on January 12, 2012:

This is so intersting and beautifully written. I have followed examples of others and have conquered the learning of other genre.

However this week I am hooked onto researching the Cherokees.

You are indeed a very gifted writer and I am looking forward to sharing hubs;friendship etc with you my friend.

HubPages is indeed such a pleasant and amazing community and I am so proud to be a member.

I vote up up and away here.

Take care and enjoy your day;

Eddy.