Entering an Emotional Sabbatical

Updated on January 3, 2020
heather92383 profile image

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.

It's official, folks, I've taken a romantic furlough

Stepping back from the idealization of love

Disgusted by the sight of it and listening to songs on radio

Cringing at the idea of a couple doing some PDA

Annoyed at the idea of a married couple celebrating a milestone

Of course, happy for them; secretly jealous for myself

Unable to make it work with the last relationship

Reasons only known to the man who broke my heart

Grossed out by the notion of holding a man's hand

Touching some slime ball did not appeal to me

Started last year as New Jersey's answer to Pretty Woman

Ended it as a female equivalent to George Carlin

Intellectual and bitter over everyone who didn't agree with them

Smiling and joking on the inside and privately raging at the world

Wanted to watch remnants of heart wither and die on the vine

No desire to feel a single solitary emotion about love gone wrong

That's a four lettered curse word in my current household of one

Ready to take a leave of absence from the dating scene

Uncomfortable at singles bars and going on dating websites

Makes me break out in hives just thinking about the latter

Understandable that heartache still fresh in the mind

Trusted one James Denton lookalike who turned out to be a liar

Harvey Dent/Two-Face in disguise and in living color

Janus in camouflage cargo shorts and a faded blue t-shirt

Saying one thing and doing something totally different

Never being in sync with himself or in our former relationship

Tired of thinking about the good memories and bitter about the bad

Don't want to be angry enough to publicly confront him

Humiliating him and myself in the process

No desire to be the vindictive ex-girlfriend of reality television yore

Ready to turn off my humanity switch for a while

Not care what others think about my recovery rate

Or wondering when I'll date again

Ironic in a sense that my ex-boyfriend helped me

Overcome a case of a year old bout of writer's block

Worst case of it I had at that very time

Couldn't formulate an idea or feeling to save my life

Completely and utterly numb to everything

Going through the motions; punching the time clock

He opened the door in my mind for a flood of ideas to come out

A faucet that still runs three months after our break-up

Partially inspired by him; unfortunately

Realized that it helped in the healing process

Wish it would just work a little faster

Sure, he moved on a lot quicker than I have done

Working on his bowling throw and his stale dad jokes

Time to close this sordid chapter before the anger returns

No point in going back that route now; unless looking to be on Dateline

Which I'm not.


Time to turn off that emotional faucet.
Time to turn off that emotional faucet.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Brenda Arledge profile image

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      8 months ago from Washington Court House

      Heather,

      I can feel your pain. This is a very emotional and great write.

      I can understand wanting to take a break from the "L" word for awhile.

      No one else can take the place of the one you wanted and no other hand will feel quite right.

      Take as long as you need and do it your way. Do not listen to anyone else's advice...like what you should do or how you should feel.

      You are going to feel what you do.. good or bad. Forgiving or unforgiving.

      Others will not understand and they do not have to..it is your life.

      Just do what you have to do to make it through those long nights...you are what matters now.

      And write...write some more...cry...then write more.

      Writing really does help.

      Great write.

      May you find some peace and happiness this new year.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, letterpile.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)