Embracing My Inner Crone: A Poem About Aging

Updated on November 6, 2017

Granny Finds Her Groove

Getting older, yes,  but also getting better.
Getting older, yes, but also getting better. | Source

Growing Older

It is not always easy for a woman to age gracefully. Nature heaps indignities upon the post-menopausal body. I wrote "Embracing My Inner Crone," a humorous poem, to vent my frustrations. About two thirds through, I realized that I am also "growing bolder," and so the last third of the poem is very upbeat. Come celebrate with me.

Growing Bolder

Mark Middleton is the host of the PBS radio and TV show, Growing Bolder. The show celebrates people who don't buy into the stereotype of old age, but instead pursue their dreams. They are creative, adventurous, and successful.

Marc and his colleague, Bill Shafer, gave a lecture that I attended. I was very impressed with their energy and enthusiasm and their belief that advanced age not need to be a barrier to a fulfilling life..

The later years are an ideal time to do the things you always wanted to do. Work and family responsibilities for older people are lessened or gone. Experience has brought wisdom and know-how.

Mack's lecture inspired me to write this poem, "Embracing My Inner Crone." It begins with a humorous list of complaints about the indignities old age inflicts upon the body, but ends with a celebration of the creative energies unloosed at this time of life.

Please Note: This poem is meant to be humorous, NOT autobiographical. Humor often uses exaggeration as a technique. I do not actually have all of these ailments. Some, yes, but not all. However, the part about creativity and wisdom is all true.

Embracing My Inner Crone


The Druids carved women’s life into three:

First, Maiden, nubile sexuality,

Second, Mother, fruition and family,

And last, Crone, wisdom and serenity.


Finally, the time has come to face it.

Denial’s cocoon tried to encase it,

But now its burst free, I won’t debase it,

My inner crone, I must embrace it.


I’m officially a senior this year;

Social Security makes that clear.

Long life is a gift, so I do not sneer,

But it comes with a price, a price quite dear.


All the things about aging I did not know:

Strong eyes and sharp ears pick up and go,

Etched onto my face, the sign of the crow,

And wrinkles tell of worry and sorrow.


My hair, once brunette, is now mostly grey,

Poor eyesight and hearing loss cause dismay.

Hot flashes torment me both night and day,

My once pert bosoms, now sag and sway,


When I try to speak, I suffer brain freeze,

I can’t bend my knees, I pee when I sneeze.

If only there were some gods to appease—

I’d like to feel young again, pretty please.


The list goes on, I have ailments galore—

Skin sags, eye bags, belly flabs, and still more,

I have back pain, heartburn, and now I snore,

And a mustache where I had none before.


The random bouts of sciatica pain,

Added to the arthritis, makes me lame.

Metabolism slows, causing weight gain—

And constipation forces me to strain.


There’s the sleeplessness, the forgetfulness,

Lady parts that grow old and obsolesce,

My poor hoo-haa suffers from dryness—

My body, once ally, now traitoress.


I have punishments worse than 30 lashes.

Hot flashes, crotch rashes, and brain crashes.

The involuntary passage of noxious gasses.

My body an area for disasters.


However, there is one big compensation

To make up for all of the dysfunction,

The later years do bring gains in wisdom,

Self-acceptance, confidence, liberation.


I have not become, I am becoming.

So many ideas, my brain is humming.

My life’s days, I’m not summing.

I now dance to a different drumming.


These are my glory days, lived avidly,

I’m discovering creativity,

I indulge in wild spontaneity—

All because I achieved sagacity.


Despite my complaints, my health is still fine.

I keep fit, eat right, toe my doctor’s line.

So I plan to be here a good long time—

I think I’ll live till one hundred and nine.

Golden Years Inspiration

A inspirational poster about living a successful life.
A inspirational poster about living a successful life. | Source

Growing Bolder Interviews

Marc Middleton interviews an amazing array of people who are living exciting successful lives. Every interview is an inspiration. Every interview proves Marc's slogan, "It's not about age, it's about attitude."

Rebranding Aging

Give Your Opinion about Growing Older

Which statement best describes how you feel about getting older?

See results

I Think I Will Live to 109.

I will not let sands of time crush my spirit..
I will not let sands of time crush my spirit.. | Source

© 2014 Catherine Giordano

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    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 11 months ago from Orlando Florida

      FlourishAnyway: Getting older is wonderful in so many ways, and as you say, it beats the alternative. motto for 2017 is "Becoming Who I Am." You think I would know that by now, but but as the poem says, "I have not Become, I am Becoming." Thanks for the comment.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 11 months ago from USA

      Loved it! It sure made me laugh! The details are not always fun but growing old sure beats the alternative.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 15 months ago from Orlando Florida

      AudretHowitt: May we both live to 109. Think how smart we will be by then.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 15 months ago from California

      109 seems grand to me! Such an enjoyable read!

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Gloriousconfusion: Thanks for the poem. Which is better compliments on your writing on other accomplishments or on your looks? Do I have to choose?

    • Gloriousconfusion profile image

      Diana Grant 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      As I age, the ooh's and ah's increase

      But at least my mind's at peace

      My fans don't love me for my looks

      They marvel at my thousand books

      Wish I could read them all

      Before my eyesight goes

      Before I rest befuddled head

      In permanent repose

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 2 years ago from Orlando Florida

      M I Morgan: So glad you like the poem. I am doing my best to age gracefully. The poem is not entirely autobiographical. However, the good parts in the last verses are. I am proud of my "sagacity." I wrote this poem to make people laugh at the indignities of aging and to affirm the benefits while encouraging positive thinking.

    • profile image

      M l Morgan 2 years ago

      I love this! I have promised myself I will grow old gracefully. We'll see ;) Great poetry x

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      DzyMsLizzy: Good for you! I love your attitude. Exercise will keep your bones strong.

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

      LOL--Well done! I've said for years and years now, "age is but a state of mind."

      When I approached 50, now 16 long years ago, I told my daughters I did not want one of those trite "over-the-hill" parties. I wanted a "WHAT HILL?? Where? When?" party!

      At 50 I was still using the rollerblades I got at age 45. A subsequent, unrelated injury put a halt to that for some years, but last year, I got a new knee joint, and I DO plan to get back on my skates, and I've returned to my karate class!

      Voted up, +++

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear Catherine,

      Amen, my friend. Accepting in itself, is a sign of deep wisdom while denial is a sign of fear and avoiding what is real. Whew! Enough philosophy. Time for coffee and I wish you and OUR mutual cronnies a safe and peaceful day.

      Your Friend for Life,

      Kenneth

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Lionrhod and Kenneth: It's so nice to be around people who appreciate the crone. I stopped dyeing my hair about 10 years ago. I'm proud of my grey hair. It denotes wisdom. Plus I save a lot of time and money.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Lionrhod,

      That is why I surround myself with intelligent women such as yourself. There is a lot of issues and events in daily life that I do not and cannot understand.

    • Lionrhod profile image

      Lionrhod 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Crone IS a complement. In our path we reserve this title for the wise, been there-done-that women who advise us, from their greater knowledge of wisdom and experience. Crones tend to be a bit cold because they have seen and done it all, but now look back on it with less of the furor that infects our younger years. I'll be writing some pages on the Crone archetype soon.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Catherine,

      From one crony to another, I am proud to be in your "Crony Corner," of HubPages--sharing our thoughts on various topics ranging from Third World Economic Policies to what cake icing appeals to Duchess Kate Middleton.

      I said I wasn't going to cry.

      Thanks, dear Catherine. I.O.U. big time.

      And the dishes were so clean that you could eat lunch off of them.

      Your Crony Friend for Life,

      Kenneth

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Kenneth, You always make me laugh. Thanks. And on behalf of all other crones, thanks.

      Now go make those dishes sparkle.

      Your crony friend, Cathy

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Catherine, my dear friend,

      Thank you for being so nice. And cordial. That includes your girlfriends as well.

      Have a peaceful day. Now I need to go and wash dishes.

      Kenneth

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Lionrhod: I see that I was misunderstanding you. I see by your profile that come from a tradition that honors crones, and so now I understand why you were so comfortable calling yourself a crone. I, on the other hand, simply accept being a crone because I can't turn back time. I'm going to work on changing my attitude so that the next time I say "I am embracing my inner crone," I won't be saying it ironically.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Kenneth as a "sage" (See Liorhod's comment) you are welcome to join us "crones" anytime.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Thanks Liorhod. I did not know that the male counterpart of crone is sage. Sage sounds like a wise person and crone sounds like an old person. But crone has negative connotations only because society gives it negative connotation. I used "crone" ironically in the title of my poem. Now I'm going to start training my mind to think of "crone" as a compliment.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Catherine, dear friend,

      Thank you. I am HONORED to join you girls. You intelligent girls. And for me, "so what," if I grow old? I am still breathing. And I appreicate you, Catherine and all of your female friends. I count them as my friends too.

    • Lionrhod profile image

      Lionrhod 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

      In our trads the male crone counterpart is "sage." .

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      You are very welcome to join us girls, Ken. Men have to deal with aging too and "so what" is a great attitude. It just occurred to me--there is no word that is the male counterpart to crone.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Pardon me, girls, for this brief comment,

      As a guy, which is the only way I can speak to this "age" thing, I took up the "so what?" mindset when I hit 40. Now when a part of body gives out or grows weary, I just smile contently and say, "so what?" And go on the best I can about my life.

      Age is the seasoning of us as members of life.

      If we were only young in this level, do you think that we would learn?

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Ditto to the second paragraph. Don't be in such a hurry to say you are old. In the U.S., the average woman lives to be 83 which means approximately 60 years as an adult. So 20 to 40 is young, 40 to 60 is middle age, and 60 + is old. That's just one way to look at it.

    • Lionrhod profile image

      Lionrhod 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Sagacity, connection to the Dark Mother, connection to the fact that endings are beginnings. Arianrhod is my patroness, so for me it's about transformation, stillness and the ability to face our fears.

      Getting "old" is one of the most challenging and positive transformations I've been through. Sure I hate the crows feet and the other changes in my body, but I love the fact that I finally feel more in command of my life.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Now I am the one LOLing. I hope it was because you always had sagacity.

    • Lionrhod profile image

      Lionrhod 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

      LOL I've always been a crone, even as a small child.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      You may have joined the AARP generation, but don't call yourself a crone until you join the Medicare generation. Thanks Lionrhod: I'm enjoying my crone days too.

    • Lionrhod profile image

      Lionrhod 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Great poem. Having hit my crone phase I totally relate.

      I'm enjoying being 51. Even if my body's turned traitor, I finally feel somewhat balanced and wise.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Catherine,

      You do. It is no power. Just take an everyday subject or area and think reverse. E.G. Prison Warden. Hub idea: Why I Would Make a Terrible Prison Warden. See? Now go with it and have a great evening, my dear friend.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      I wish I had your super-power, Kenneth--turning out one funny hub after another.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Catherine,

      You are truly a Superwoman. But shhhh. I will keep your secret identity.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      I found one hub written by a woman lamenting that she was turning 30. But overall, a lot of people in our generation. Take care of yourself. One lucky thing I still have going for me is a strong immune system. I never get sick with colds, flus, etc.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, again tonight, Catherine,

      I am so glad that I found someone on HP who knows about things that I do and that I do not have to explain who the Beatles are and such.

      And as for young, I have battled a stomach virus since Friday night and I am needing the resilience of my young body to fight this virus and beat it out of my body.

      Keep up your great work.

      Your Friend for Life,

      Kenneth

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Kenneth: So true. Our hearts always feel young. I just wanted people who read my poem to laugh off the assaults age makes on their bodies and to remember "you are only as old as you think you are." When you keep learning, you stay young.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear Catherine.

      You rock, girl. I am going to be 61 this November, but the thing is, ONLY my old body knows this. Not my heart--for it still feels 20.

      God bless you for this terrific hub.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      So glad you liked the poem. It is just light verse meant to be funny. It makes me happy to know that it made you laugh.

    • Sparrowlet profile image

      Katharine L Sparrow 3 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Great poem! As a poet myself, I can say that I really enjoyed that. Laughed out loud, even! But the message is well put.... it's attitude over age, even if our bodies slow down! Nice hub.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      One of the thins about being older for me is that I know who I am. I worry less about what others will think.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Catherine,

      I loved it. And for some guys, maybe they have age issues, but I embrace my changes. In fact, may I share a theory I told a young person at my church some time ago?

      When we are young and do stupid things, people around us just shake their heads and say, "they are too young to know anything."

      When we are in our twenties and do stupid things, people around us just shake their heads and say, "awww, they are not old enough to have experience."

      And finally, when we are in our 60's or older, and do or say stupid things (we can get away with), people around us just shake their heads and say, "awww, forget it. They are too old to know any better."

      All things come back to the start of the circle.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Thank you. I guess men have their issues with aging also. I performed this in a slam poetry contest--right on the stage in front of everybody. I wrote about it in my hub about slam poetry.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      This was a fantastic piece of creative writing. I loved how the verses flowed from one solid thought to the next.

      Excellent.

    • CatherineGiordano profile image
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      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Thanks ladies. I'm glad the poem made you smile. I see a title in the "related titles" above about dreading turning 30. The good old days when we thought 30 was old. That said, in many ways, the crone days are the best days.

    • C McNairy Wight 1 profile image

      Carol McNairy Wight 3 years ago from Provo, Utah

      Loved the poem. I always say, "I'm 72. Never been there before. I'm just learning ."

    • carrie Lee Night profile image

      Kept private 3 years ago from Northeast United States

      Awesome poem ! :). Loved the title. Great work a little humorous mixed with serious.....what a crone cocktail :). Thank you for sharing. Simply brilliant.