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Embracing My Inner Crone: A Poem About Aging

Granny Finds Her Groove

Getting older, yes,  but also getting better.

Getting older, yes, but also getting better.

Growing Older

It is not always easy for a woman to age gracefully. Nature heaps indignities upon the post-menopausal body. I wrote "Embracing My Inner Crone," a humorous poem, to vent my frustrations. About two thirds through, I realized that I am also "growing bolder," and so the last third of the poem is very upbeat. Come celebrate with me.

Growing Bolder

Mark Middleton is the host of the PBS radio and TV show, Growing Bolder. The show celebrates people who don't buy into the stereotype of old age, but instead pursue their dreams. They are creative, adventurous, and successful.

Marc and his colleague, Bill Shafer, gave a lecture that I attended. I was very impressed with their energy and enthusiasm and their belief that advanced age not need to be a barrier to a fulfilling life..

The later years are an ideal time to do the things you always wanted to do. Work and family responsibilities for older people are lessened or gone. Experience has brought wisdom and know-how.

Mack's lecture inspired me to write this poem, "Embracing My Inner Crone." It begins with a humorous list of complaints about the indignities old age inflicts upon the body, but ends with a celebration of the creative energies unloosed at this time of life.

Please Note: This poem is meant to be humorous, NOT autobiographical. Humor often uses exaggeration as a technique. I do not actually have all of these ailments. Some, yes, but not all. However, the part about creativity and wisdom is all true.

Embracing My Inner Crone


The Druids carved women’s life into three:

First, Maiden, nubile sexuality,

Second, Mother, fruition and family,

And last, Crone, wisdom and serenity.


Finally, the time has come to face it.

Denial’s cocoon tried to encase it,

But now its burst free, I won’t debase it,

My inner crone, I must embrace it.


I’m officially a senior this year;

Social Security makes that clear.

Long life is a gift, so I do not sneer,

But it comes with a price, a price quite dear.


All the things about aging I did not know:

Strong eyes and sharp ears pick up and go,

Etched onto my face, the sign of the crow,

And wrinkles tell of worry and sorrow.


My hair, once brunette, is now mostly grey,

Poor eyesight and hearing loss cause dismay.

Hot flashes torment me both night and day,

My once pert bosoms, now sag and sway,


When I try to speak, I suffer brain freeze,

I can’t bend my knees, I pee when I sneeze.

If only there were some gods to appease—

I’d like to feel young again, pretty please.


The list goes on, I have ailments galore—

Skin sags, eye bags, belly flabs, and still more,

I have back pain, heartburn, and now I snore,

And a mustache where I had none before.


The random bouts of sciatica pain,

Added to the arthritis, makes me lame.

Metabolism slows, causing weight gain—

And constipation forces me to strain.


There’s the sleeplessness, the forgetfulness,

Lady parts that grow old and obsolesce,

My poor hoo-haa suffers from dryness—

My body, once ally, now traitoress.


I have punishments worse than 30 lashes.

Hot flashes, crotch rashes, and brain crashes.

The involuntary passage of noxious gasses.

My body an area for disasters.


However, there is one big compensation

To make up for all of the dysfunction,

The later years do bring gains in wisdom,

Self-acceptance, confidence, liberation.


I have not become, I am becoming.

So many ideas, my brain is humming.

My life’s days, I’m not summing.

I now dance to a different drumming.


These are my glory days, lived avidly,

I’m discovering creativity,

I indulge in wild spontaneity—

All because I achieved sagacity.


Despite my complaints, my health is still fine.

I keep fit, eat right, toe my doctor’s line.

So I plan to be here a good long time—

I think I’ll live till one hundred and nine.

Golden Years Inspiration

A inspirational poster about living a successful life.

A inspirational poster about living a successful life.

Growing Bolder Interviews

Marc Middleton interviews an amazing array of people who are living exciting successful lives. Every interview is an inspiration. Every interview proves Marc's slogan, "It's not about age, it's about attitude."

Rebranding Aging

Give Your Opinion about Growing Older

I Think I Will Live to 109.

I will not let sands of time crush my spirit..

I will not let sands of time crush my spirit..

© 2014 Catherine Giordano

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