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Fake smiles, fake happiness and fake pleasures
That's my camouflage
I'm too broken, too sad and scared
Yeah, my everyday demon.

I'm scared of the night ending
I found comfort in it, each morning brings me back to fight, I'm tired I need a tab or two
The fight is taking longer.

I'm tired of pretending to be numb
I feel the pain
It's too much, my heart is crushed
These tabs no longer work.

I'm having a running nose in my eyes
Patience! Patience I need but already
I'm damaged mentally
What sort of fate is this?

I'm falling apart with a hurting heart
I want to end this, I really don't know what my heart is yearning at
I no longer understand these signs.

I'm trying not to get it wrong
I'm trying not to get it twisted
The process gets me overstimulated
I need a better friend aside pain.

I have forgotten how peace of mind feels like
I look in the mirror and who I see, isn't me
I lost myself trying, I lost who I used to be
I'll have to find myself alone like 1995.

© 2019 Christopher Ndulue

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