Updated date:

Do you really exist?

do-you-really-exist

Do you really exist?

Do you exist? My mind asking this question
I am searching for you everywhere
Do you exist? My mind asking this question
What if you exist, I have no answer
What if you don't exist, still no answer
But I can hear the weeping sounds of my heart

I opened my eyes and searched you in the darkness of night
I tried to touch you with my cold fingers, Oh! Isn't this you?
It was four walls around me....
Are you really existing?my mind asking every time.
No, you really not exist that I haven't realized yet.

Comments

Marie Flint from Jacksonville, FL USA on June 03, 2020:

Yes, thoughtful, but the poem can be taken much further. The words "realizing" and "exist" are abstract. You do have "weeping sounds of my heart," "darkness of the night," and "cold fingers" as imagery. These are great; how about some more?

Halemane Muralikrishna recommended a prologue and epilogue. So do I.

We have several poetry writers on HubPages whose works often go to LetterPile. To get closer to a 700-minimum word count, often five or more poems are needed. Images can be intertwined between the poems.

How about a callout from a well known poet about poetry? or a philosopher about the search for reality?

These are all things that can make your piece shine. What you have is thought-provoking, but it's extremely short for an article.

I hope I've given you some useful ideas. Keep writing!

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on May 04, 2020:

Posing the question of existence. A thought our inner self refects upon

Mitara N from South Africa on April 28, 2020:

Inner thoughts and feelings going in search to find answers what we look for, daily.

Wonderfully written

Thank you for sharing

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on April 27, 2020:

Nicely done poem, with deep thoughts.

Thanks for sharing.

Prateek Jain from Madhya Pradesh, India on April 26, 2020:

You have very well portrayed the condition of a burning soul that is in search of the ultimate relief. When the search will end the soul will get its permanent cure.

Halemane Muralikrishna from South India on April 26, 2020:

A very good poem on introspection of self. I request you to add a prologue on the poem and epilogue to take the readers completely on your thought domain. I really loved it as such, Ms Nisha.

Related Articles