Donna is a writer & poet of things that matter, and things that don't! As the years progress, we learn to paint a picture with words...
In This Poem
I wrote this poem to my mother, we had been estranged for 8 years (at that time) and though I wanted to make amends, I didn't know how or if she would accept me back into the family. So, I let fear make my decision to keep quiet and not do anything about it.
I never felt the same in my heart though it was I who got angry and walked away from my mother. It was soon a decision that I regretted.
My sister worked hard and prayed even harder to bring us back together. This was 2018. So, I booked my train ticket (I couldn't afford plane fare) and had to wait a few weeks before I left. Four days before I was to depart, my dad was rushed to the hospital, because he had an abdominal aortic aneurysm in his stomach.
O.k. so, I changed my ticket to early morning, packed my things and while on the train he passed away...
Why do I write this? Please... Please do not wait until it's too late to reunite with an estranged family member...
This poem is dedicated to my loving Mother and Dad (until we meet again... I'm sorry I didn't make it Dad, but know I love you)
Do You Ever Think of Me?
It has been years since I’ve heard your voice
A decision I made, a decision by choice
It doesn’t tell the way that I feel
Just too much blame for one to conceal
I still seem to ponder these questions in my head
Do you ever think of me? The answer I dread
I know the years flew by but, it’s time to forget the past
Let's not forget the good times or the fond memories that we had
I’ve been wandering around God’s green earth
Thinking of where we have been; for all that it’s worth
Forgiveness is powerful; it releases one's soul
It cures the pain and brings love home
I often think of good times that we once shared
Do you ever think of me and wish that I were there?
Is it time to mend the fences that separate us today?
To let go of what ails us that made us part our ways
These questions tend to linger every step that I take
Sometimes I have stumbled through life; but victory is on its way
I love you with all my heart; I wish that you could see
Just answer me this one question; do you ever think of me?
Donna Rayne September 24, 2013
A Happy Ending to a Sad Poem
My mother is elderly now and after Dad passed, she got sick, herself and has congestive heart failure. She is doing remarkably well; the Lord has healed her heart. Though she still has trouble, she is a strong woman and I hope to be like her one day.
My mother and I are closer than we have ever been. Because I know what it's like not having her in my life. I will take care of her for the rest of her life!
As of January 2022, I moved in with her and things are better than ever before...
And yes, she thought about me...
A Note to All Who Are Estranged from Family
Dear Loved Ones,
Know that even though you have walked away, gotten angry and said, "enough is enough" and you think you are better off just walking away from family, your mom, or your dad... whoever it may be... Truly it's not worth it.
You might wait years and years before you come back and just when you are ready to reunite and become a part of the family you left... it might be too late. I know because it happened to me. I've experienced this and the anguish, the pain and heartbreak are unbearable. And let's not talk about the overwhelming regret. It's more than one could bear.
I didn't make it in time to tell my dad, one last time, that I loved him. My sister whispered it in his ear as he lay on life support, and I hope he heard her. I really do. I would like to think that he did because it gives me hope and a better conscience. But, then again, that alone makes me feel selfish. However, his soul heard me. He lived a few hours after coming out of the E.R. Sadly, he never woke up again.
My advice is to forgive, and get over it, pray if that's what you do (I did) and soon the door is opened and please... my friends, walk through that door. You don't know what's waiting on the other side.
I found love and know this... they do think about you... every single day, every thought in the heart is filled with love for you! They yearn for your return. They worry about you and wonder what you are doing and if you're happy!
So, write that text, make that phone call, send an email... you won't regret it!
© 2022 Donna Rayne