Lost in My Despair

This was written during a very dark time in my life, back in 1999 when I was just 20 years old. I will never forget my tremendous, multi-year struggle to reach the light. If I ever feel myself start slipping back to that place, I immediately make changes and return to the light as quickly as possible. However, I wouldn't change a thing about my hardships and the events that led me down into that pit of despair. Surviving those times made me who I am, and while I am a work in progress, I am very proud of who I have become.

So filled with despair

I would rip out my hair

If only I could find

The strength inside my mind

To lift up my hand

And push aside the sand

To get into the place

In between the space

Where life and hell combine

And sadness intertwines

Where life has no luster

And the only strength I muster

Goes into making me

Afraid of my own destiny