If only I could turn back the time
When I was out of my mind
When I felt the change in me
The change that destroyed me
I opened myself to the world
I welcomed the strange
Continued to change
Didn’t know I had also let the demons in
I had been blinded then
Thought I controlled it in me
So I shut myself away
Trapped in the darkness, fought the unknown
Battled the demons, conquered them alone
Yet I lost, they devoured me
I screamed silently, they showed no mercy
They ate me alive, killed me inside
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
Every step, I struggled to breathe
My own feet finally led me to the doors of death
But why didn’t it open..
Isn’t this what they wanted..
What’s the use of being physically alive
When my soul had already died..
Death wouldn’t take me as much as I tried
So the demons taught me how to survive
In this world of darkness I’ve come to know
How to make hell feel like home.
Now I don’t know where my old self had gone
For the damage had already been done
What’s left now is regret and guilt of what I’d become
But atleast it made me feel like I’m still human.
manatita44 from london on July 18, 2020:
What I appreciate most is sincere poetry. Expressing our feelings of the heart helps with healing and pleases the soul. Much Love.