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A Poem about my Psychosis.



One day you think your Jesus Christ,
the next you have Satans' might,
weekends you think you're both,
you think you're them the most.

Think you've been lobotomized,
why you don't emotionalize,
think you're the horseman War,
wonder what it's all for.

You think of something to do,
start an anarchist coup,
hunt down the fourth Reich,
rise with all you're might.

Alway's something to think about,
the truth is always in doubt,
though the harm is remaining,
delusions are entertaining.

Your past is a total mystery,
no one talks about your history,
you think it's kept secret,
you go into enragement.

You find yourself hospitalized,
keep you heavily tranquilized,
realize you went 'round the bend,
laugh about it in the end.


About the Author

II was born in Melbourne Australia on March 4th, 1957. My mother worked in a pie van at Victoria market. My father drank. My brother, sister and I used to take time off school, go to the museum, botanical gardens or sneak into the zoo. When I was 9 we moved to a country town not far from the city. I enjoyed roaming around the paddocks. I didn't do well at school, my lack of concentration made studying difficult, I dropped out to pursue a career in retail. I managed an aquarium successfully. In 1985 I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, later with paranoid schizophrenia, with this came heavy cannabis use. I was in and out of hospitals for a long time. New medications have made me stable, I haven't been hospitalized since 2000. Psychosis radicalized my thinking, I realized I could make something out of the darkness. That was the beginning of my paranormal journey.


© 2018 JAMES

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