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Defeating Trauma

TaJuan is an aspiring writer hoping to gain experience and growth through publishing passionate works, like this one, online for the world.

Underneath a bed,

In a room unfamiliar to me,

With people unfamiliar to me,

I was hiding.

I didn’t know why I was hiding.

What I was hiding from was lost to me as well,

But I knew I was hiding.

I just had this innate feeling that something was coming.

Something ugly,

Something horrible,

But unlike the room,

Or the people around me,

It was something familiar.

So, I watched the door,

Hoping for the best,

Expecting the worst.

All I could do was wait.


I waited for a long period of something.

I would say time,

But time didn’t exist in that realm.

I was trapped in my mind.

A place that could be my best friend,

Or my worst enemy,

And unfortunately for the mini me in my mind,

I was not living a dream,

As the door did not creak open,

But rather it was broken down barbarically.

The energy in the room shifted from a soft fear

To a suffocating anxiety,

As the pure embodiment of anger walked in.

The entity in question was tall,

Threatening in stature,

And he had a target:

To find his son,

And lucky for me,

This entity was unmistakable:

It was my father.


One word ran rampant in my head:

Run!

Over and over and over,

Nonstop,

With no avail,

For my legs were limp,

Frozen,

Chained down by this

Crippling fear.

It was like I was a child again

Who watched my father commit horrible actions

With eyes that drowned in tears.

I was split,

A living conflict.

Do I run?

Do I continue to hide?

The decision had to be made quickly

Because with the strength he used to abuse my mother

He lifted the bed where me and the unfamiliars were hiding.

Finally,

With unbelievable speed,

I dashed out of the room.

I was whole again.


I didn’t look back for a long time

I just ran with inhumane speed

Dodging cars and pedestrians

I ran like my life depended on it

Since, for all I knew

It did

I eventually turned back to find

That I was not the only superhuman

As he was right on my tail

But this thing

It wasn’t my father anymore

It was something indescribable

A creation of the deepest, darkest recesses of my subconscious

The moments and experiences from my past that I kept buried

My various sins and fears

But like zombies,

They had arrived in this nightmare

Chasing me at ridiculous speeds

Yet,

No matter how fast they were,

I was faster.

I was always,

Just a smidge,

Faster.

I denied the possibility of getting caught by my dead past.

I was

Beyond.

I just kept moving forward,

Towards nowhere in particular,

Just forward,

Toward a future where I shine

Brightly, vibrantly.

A future where the past is just that:

The past.

A past that may still be alive and well,

But it will never catch me.

And that is how I defeated

My trauma.


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