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Days of Lockdown

Days of Lockdown.
by: Gianella Labrador


We all have our own fears.
We get paranoid.
We get scared.
Like patients in the mental ward.
Like prisoners in their cells.
What could frighten us more?
Not being able to hear our surroundings?
or
Being able to hear everything?
Either way, there's still harm.
Either way, it'll still be scary.

This familiar fear.
We've been there.
Why does it have to happen again?
There are things we can't do.
We are restricted.
We can't complain either.
But the underlying fear is there.

Thinking so much of what to do,
Being cautious in everything,
With the brutality and killings,
Like an archer with a bullet or knife ready to shoot,
You can never walk again without being anxious.
We are battling a war against virus.
Why did it turned out to be civil?
Maybe it was long overdue and it was just highlighted now.
While there are people inevitably dying from this virus,
Misunderstandings between armed men and innocent civilians led to killings.
We are fighting inner battles as well to be sane despite the stressful world.

Children and Young Adults.
Tell me how can we cope with this fear?
If you're privilege enough, maybe professional help is affordable.
But what about those who can't?
Medications can be used for those who have the capacity to buy.
But what about those who can't?
Seek help to elderly, to your parents.
But what about those who can't?
Like those who have broken family.
Like those who are living with violent guardians.
What if those people whom they live with (blood related) are what causing them mental breakdowns?
Where do we go and seek advise?
When it's clear to see that adults have let us down and they can't handle themselves properly as well.

Most of us lives in anxiety and fear.
It can feel as if you are drowning.
It can feel as if you are being choked.
Death is scary.
Hospital bills is scary.
The virus itself is scary.
Deadlines are scary.
When everything piles up, but you still don't have that energy...
Knowing the consequences will stress you out.
You'll fail if you don't do these or do that.
There'll be times, you force yourself to do something as it's urgently needed.
When something goes wrong, as a child/young adult,
We beat ourselves up, then comes another mental breakdown.

There are things we should be remembering for our safety.
But having to remember everything while a haunting fear shadows around,
You'll end up getting worn out, doing stuffs all over the place,
forgetting most of what must be remembered.
Pressure + anxiety amongst children and adolescence,
Is somewhat harsh.

Be aware and careful to how you reprimand others to follow.
You might be in the disposition to handle things well,
but others simply can't.
Trauma is already there.
They know what is happening around.
If you add more cyclones to the storm,
Who will be there to calm the storms and rain showers of their life?
Praying can help but they also need guidance; not another form of monstrous fear.
You don't have to sugarcoat, and we know our safety is just your priority.
We have to be cautious in everything we do.
That's a given.

We don't want to be wronged by others.
We don't want to be in trouble.
We can't afford to get sick as hospitals are in full capacity.
As we don't have that much to pay professionals.
But that fear you instill upon us,
How is it affecting our daily lives?
As a growing child, with not much in depth knowledge of life and the world.
We would want to explore but we can't.
Coping up is limited online which sometimes you just get sick and tired of it.
Some lives are being deprived of the life they deserve due to your incompetencies and selfishness.

Enjoy life, be happy.
Life is short.
Live life to the fullest.
Easier said than done especially if you don't have the privilege to do so.
People who have the utmost capacity and privilege can travel as much as they want.
Can do almost everything they wish to do.
Eat and buy what they want and need.
But what about those who can't?

People who have lost their jobs.
People who have to work like robots to feed their family.
People who are tired but can't afford to give up.
People who doesn't have time for breakdowns and rests.
People who are broke and have only few cents left in their pockets.
They have so much stuffs to do may it be for school or work.
Even if they want to break free from the stress there are underlying reasons why they just can't.

We've known much stories of adults and their struggles.
What about the children?
What would be told when asked to narrate how their childhood was when they grow up ten to twenty years later?
I'm sure most of you (adults) have tons of memories to share with your longtime friends and playmates.
What about them?
No more playing classic street games,
No more selling of street foods,
No more dirty ice cream vendors ringing their cart bells,
Can't play tag with their friends,
Hide and seek in the neighborhood.
More or less being stuck up to looking at the screen with online people.
What were other stuffs that excites children but were taken away by this pandemic?
Children can be clingy to adults at times but they can also get bored with them.
Small children taking classes might also strain their eyes at a young age and that'd be tough.

Days of Lockdown might still be extended.
The dreading fear and trauma of this set up might still arise and worsen as days pass by.
The fear of being in this situation again when you feel you can't do much like your hands tied up.
The fear that you might get caught up into that huge black hole of darkness once again.
It's all pretty overwhelming.
You know you have encountered such thing already,
but the tricky part is you still don't know how to handle it.
You still don't know an easy way out if you get trapped.
Just when it starts to devour you once more, you'd feel helpless and everything out of control.

What do we want to teach the young?
What do we want to instill onto their minds?
What do we want to impart on their lives?
Trauma and fear with so much toxicity and negativity?
What you give to them now, they'll bring it as they grow older.
Your influence as an adult plays a vital role to their growth and development as a child and as they grow old.
I'm blaming no one but just trying to remind and be mindful of what we say and do.

Day will come, these battles will end soon.
I'm rooting for you that you become victorious and a survivor of these battles we face each day.

Be kind and Practice Humanity.
Stay Humble.
No to any form of violence and abuse.

Wish you all the best on your journey to conquer all your fears.

Stay safe. You Matter. Always.

End.

© 2021 Gianella Labrador

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