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Dating Disaster - A Poem About Poop

Sandra is an artist and stay at home mom. In the last couple years she has started to use her creativity writing poems about poop.

Has This Ever Happened To You?

Ok, I admit it! I have been on a date and then all of a sudden I hear my stomach start to gurgle and then go into complete panic mode. Then you internally start to freak out and try to figure out a plan as to what you are going to do in case of an emergency. Has this ever happened to you? The anxiety that you feel is overwhelming. You begin to sweat profusely and then you start seeing double. Seriously the worst feeling in the world. So anyway, I thought this would be a hilarious subject for one of my poop poems and I got to writing. This poo-em is one of my favorites for sure. I hope you enjoy reading and get a good laugh.

Dating Poops

Drawing created by Sandra Holt

Drawing created by Sandra Holt

My Poop Drawings!

So I gotta give props to my husband for the idea for this drawing. I decided I was going to draw an illustration to go with every poo-em, but sometimes I have a bit of artist block and can't figure out what to do artistically. That's when I turned to my husband to give me some ideas, and I think this one turned out cute!

Dating Disaster - A Poem About Poop

I met this guy and he asked me on a date.

I was so excited, I thought this must be fate.

He took me to a restaurant where we ate chicken with curry.

As the meal progressed, I was starting to worry.


I felt my gut twisting and turning.

I even think I felt a little burning.

My eyes were starting to water and I was beginning to sweat.

My belly was starting to rumble in front of the guy I just met.


I was so embarrassed but I had to be excused.

I'm sure the guy who brought me here wasn't really amused.

I had to get him off my mind and worry about myself.

So I jolted to the bathroom and tripped over a shelf.


As I was crashing to the ground there was fear in my eyes.

The blowout I was about to have could be my demise.

So I jumped up off the floor and continued running to the can.

I might as well forget about having a new man.


I made it to the toilet before the poop exploded,

but once my butt was on the throne, all the trots unloaded.

I finally felt a sense of relief,

but then I was overcome with grief.


I knew I had to leave in fear and face the man who brought me here.

I walked back to our table with my head hung in shame.

As I looked into his eyes I was feeling extra lame.

He looked back at me with a cute little smile.

The only thing he said was "You were in there for a while"

.

I know my face was turning beet red.

I didn't know how to respond to what he just said.

So I smiled back at him with a smirk on my face.

Then I said to my date, "I shouldn't eat at this place".


We both started to laugh and I felt a little better.

Maybe this was fate and we'll be together forever.




Do You Have A Funny Scenario For A Poop Poem?

I think I laugh every time I read this poo-em. Am I the only one with this strange sense of humor? Anyway, I usually write my poo-ems on a whim. Something will come to my mind and I will think "Hey, That would be a great poo-em!". So now I am wondering, do you have an idea for a funny scenario? If so, leave it in the comments below.

How Do You Handle A Dating Disaster

Comments

Sandra Holt (author) from Grand Rapids, Michigan on July 12, 2018:

Thanks Kim! Glad you thought it was funny!

Kim on July 12, 2018:

This is so funny !!

Sandra Holt (author) from Grand Rapids, Michigan on July 12, 2018:

Delilah, I'm so happy you found it humorous. :) Thanks you for taking the time to read.

Delilah from Kentucky on July 12, 2018:

Loved it! I needed a little humor today. I can relate to your poem quite well, I've had a few embarrassing date moments myself. Love the drawing as well =)