Dark and Stormy Persona in the Making
Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 13 years.
Starting to feel a little bit bogged down in everything
Stuck sitting in a cubicle like a mindless drone
Plugging away in front of two large monitors
Crunching numbers, figures and putting out figure
Metaphorical and a few literal ones sometimes
Stressed out to the maximum capacity of patience
Never been a virtue of mine in the first and last place
Silly to start having it now when it never materialized at all
Personally, workload built on a certain type of structure
When that balance gets disrupted; throws everything off
Unsure of how to get back into the swing of things
Others don't seem to care; while worker bees sweat it out
Fed up with bending over backwards to please others
Who couldn't give a hoot otherwise about your comings and goings
Working 50 plus hours a week was nice; but exhaustion not so much
Wondered when it was appropriate time to draw the line in the sand
Focusing on gaining some perspective outside of the cubicle domicile
Resting past dawn for a change and not jump out of bed with alarm yelling
That it was time to get up and motivated back into the usual routine
Fell into this grueling schedule for extra money in a way
Also, to cope with a devastating break-up as an effort to not deal with it
Seemed ridiculous to live in a cocoon, but it worked for a little while
Reality entered in the picture, and it bites very hard
Realized that I've been sitting on a lot of animosity the past few months
Used a very large shovel to bury those pent up emotions super deep
Under layers of sugar, sarcasm, and exhaustion
Don't know how much longer maintain façade of niceness
Without losing it or getting nauseous over such fake sentiment
Bending over backwards for people obsessed with numbers
Instead of hard work and integrity it takes to draw such results
Fake and insincere praise slapped on as a token of some esteem
Determined to start the new year in a different direction
Focusing on what makes me happy and not pleasing others too much
Never got much out of it anyways; except extra stress
Giving up on being insincere and being more honest
Okay, maybe a level or two below blistering honesty
Close enough that it can be considered diplomatically truthful
Time to live for myself and my future
Not someone else's timetable or fitting in on a spreadsheet
Being number one meant little when the results had little to no impact
Ready to shake things up for the better
No idea how to start, but it will come to me when I least expect it.