Dark and Stormy Persona in the Making

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.

Starting to feel a little bit bogged down in everything

Stuck sitting in a cubicle like a mindless drone

Plugging away in front of two large monitors

Crunching numbers, figures and putting out figure

Metaphorical and a few literal ones sometimes

Stressed out to the maximum capacity of patience

Never been a virtue of mine in the first and last place

Silly to start having it now when it never materialized at all

Personally, workload built on a certain type of structure

When that balance gets disrupted; throws everything off

Unsure of how to get back into the swing of things

Others don't seem to care; while worker bees sweat it out

Fed up with bending over backwards to please others

Who couldn't give a hoot otherwise about your comings and goings

Working 50 plus hours a week was nice; but exhaustion not so much

Wondered when it was appropriate time to draw the line in the sand

Focusing on gaining some perspective outside of the cubicle domicile

Resting past dawn for a change and not jump out of bed with alarm yelling

That it was time to get up and motivated back into the usual routine

Fell into this grueling schedule for extra money in a way

Also, to cope with a devastating break-up as an effort to not deal with it

Seemed ridiculous to live in a cocoon, but it worked for a little while

Reality entered in the picture, and it bites very hard

Realized that I've been sitting on a lot of animosity the past few months

Used a very large shovel to bury those pent up emotions super deep

Under layers of sugar, sarcasm, and exhaustion

Don't know how much longer maintain façade of niceness

Without losing it or getting nauseous over such fake sentiment

Bending over backwards for people obsessed with numbers

Instead of hard work and integrity it takes to draw such results

Fake and insincere praise slapped on as a token of some esteem

Determined to start the new year in a different direction

Focusing on what makes me happy and not pleasing others too much

Never got much out of it anyways; except extra stress

Giving up on being insincere and being more honest

Okay, maybe a level or two below blistering honesty

Close enough that it can be considered diplomatically truthful

Time to live for myself and my future

Not someone else's timetable or fitting in on a spreadsheet

Being number one meant little when the results had little to no impact

Ready to shake things up for the better

No idea how to start, but it will come to me when I least expect it.