Time is a tricky bastard
The mirror is more than silver and glass
It will reflect more than a pretty face
Or a cute little ass
The day, a chore of evermore
Not to sleep, heart knocking
There are just so many beats to go
My subconscious was in overdrive
Much to bury, "save her pride!"
I let it slide, I'd work to do
Do I know the lady in the silver?
She used to look so cool and hip
Time drizzled through the mirror
When I wasn't looking
"These seconds drag but I'm still alive"
But how? I answer myself,
"Life allows anything" "It permits a soul like me"
My empty cup made my hands shake
In the glass' reflection, I saw myself
I was dizzy and poured another
Seven years passed but the cup stayed empty
I cracked my head while falling
Falling down through the floors
Into the basement's shadows
I fell further so I slept some more
Denial covered me, in a blanket of void
This little black dress fit so well
Eyes accustomed by now
Heartbeats do not slow for sleep
Come realizations and flashes
Year six, eyelids glued
"Oh mirror, mirror crush this demon!"
"Is this me? I'm a good girl!" I cry
"I worked and proved it again and again"
"Yes!" I answered, "This is me and I did it all!"
Mirror says, "But you're the best sinner!"
"You give shame an enviable name!"
"Repugnant, gross, and irredeemable"
I shall never ask for it
Nor will I ever give.
Leave it for Jesus
A thousand little dolls saved me
I carried forth empty
And no one knew
A tall glass of energy
Six decades, invisible and in the black
Would nothing ever break?
Nervous nervous nervous
I was dancing fast without a floor
BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on November 24, 2020:
I'm sure it will touch others as well. Writing helps us to search our inner souls.
Linda Kloss (author) from Corpus Christi on November 24, 2020:
Thanks Brenda. After I published this I thought it is too personal
BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on November 23, 2020:
Wonderful poem that depicts her internal struggle while maintaining it well hidden.
Thanks for sharing.