Cranberry Sauce (It's Called).
from zipmongo.com
Cranberry sauce it's called,
but it's gelatin smooth and bald.
No berries or sauce,
just round and dulled.
It slides out, and
the serving plate it'll land.
There's no denying,
it retains the shape of the can.
Cut it with a knife;
it fights for its life.
Breaking in cubes and squares;
it continues its strife.
Finally, on your dinner plate
it really starts to hate.
It slides to the edge
to escape its fate.
Stick it with a fork.
It squirms with your hand's torque,
leaving your fork empty,
making you feel like a dork.
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But you finally win
after trying again and again.
But, even as it's at your lips,
it runs down your chin.
You feel like a fool
and you don't feel cool.
It escapes, liquefied, to your lap
where it forms a pool.
Finally, dinner's through
and most your feast is too.
But that sauce still remains,
sticky -- like glue.
Some of it you got,
most of it you did not.
So it won the day
as it stained your shirt… a lot!
Didn't Know about Real Cranberry Sauce.
I have a confession to make: I believed that cranberry sauce was actually the gelatinous stuff that came out of a can. Growing up, that was what I was exposed to during Thanksgiving. It wasn't until I took an impromptu trip to the local Trader Joe's did I discover what this sauce really looked and tasted like.
I'm not alone, however. A Simpson episode lampooned this, in which Marge served the cranberry sauce by opening a can and letting it slowly slide out (even the way it bounced and jiggled on the serving plate was consistent with this form "sauce").
Also, my family -- especially my oldest sister -- will venture into creating the sauce from scratch. This latter is often the tastiest of the all the choices.
Still, there are times when there's no time to fix it. In such cases, the canned stuff will find its way back on the table as part of the Thanksgiving spread.
From the Simpsons
© 2014 Dean Traylor
