Alexandra Lang is a 25 year old performer currently traveling the world, writing about her time around the universe.
Why is it all so exhausting?
There must be something I’m missing; some truth that is constantly out of reach.
The tinge of sorrow in everyone’s laughter.
The hidden falseness in every hello.
The hurt that is buried too deep in every ounce from the lie of forgiveness.
A universe of almosts, maybes, and not nows.
The escape of silver smoke, and lipstick stains.
The search for answers to questions that never took the risk to escape my tongue.
The overwhelming sense of chaotic confusion.
Why does my chest feel like it could collapse if it learns the definition of grief one more time? Why does time feel one inch higher than what is within my reach? Why does my reach only stretch as far as my eyes are able to see? Why does it seem like my eyes are always battling between what they actually see, and what they want to see? Why do I always win the battles but lose the wars? Why do I lose sensitivity by gaining curiosity?
Why do I say goodmorning when I really mean, “Do your ribs ever feel the pressure from the weight of every goodbye”?
Why do I say goodnight when I really mean, “Doesn’t it all just feel so familiar sometimes“?
© 2020 Xandra Lang