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Cognitive Dissonance Between Dreams and Reality

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.

Some thoughts are so realistic that they feel truer than reality

Waking up the next day thinking it actually happened

When it really didn't and was just a figment of my imagination

Realized that some ideas were better than the actual reality

Day to day life and confidence tended to dissipate

When good sense and nighttime bragging right disappeared

Strange is the word to describe how that seems to work out

Back to why this self-examination has started in the first place

Had a bizarre dream last night that still registered

Into the afternoon of the next day for some reason

Felt very vivid and realistic in format and content

Appeared to be a lot stronger than I thought I was

Had a visual encounter that hasn't actually happened yet

Not sure if it will, but it's a thought of better things to come

Ran into my ex-boyfriend at the bowling alley four months later

Starting our summer league as regularly scheduled programming

Decided in this dream to not let him take over my thoughts or choices

His playful smile disappeared as soon as he saw me

Shocked that I decided to show my face again

Didn't care that he was bothered by my presence

Added bonus that he was uncomfortable about it

Made him hopefully secretly realize that he was in the wrong, not me

Grew increasingly unnerved that he seemed to always be watching my bowling

Hard to fathom that a couple once so love now couldn't be in the same room

Encountered the initial awkwardness as if we were two teenagers

And not adults who should know better than to act like this

Decided to have the necessary conversation in order to have closure

He seemed leery to speak with me in the dream

As if I was going to slap him or rip him a new one in public

Got over the initial anger and bitterness

Decided to call him out for his childish behavior and lack of compassion

When he decided to say goodbye and break my heart in cruel fashion

Had the heart to heart that was needed in order to put him in my past

Stick him in cold storage with the rest of the out of season memories

No longer current, and no longer healthy to contend with

Ready to place him in either cordial space, or one day the friendly zone

Okay, let's be honest, folks.

We'll likely never be friends based on the fact that things didn't end well

Not even sure there will be a level of cordiality either

Willing to try for the sake of being a mature adult

In reality, not entirely sold on the idea of wanting to see him again

Taking it day by day and knowing for certain that I'm not giving up

On the things I like to do for fear of running into him

Not in my nature to throw in the towel, like it was in theirs.

A place that could lead to some good, or nothing at all.

A place that could lead to some good, or nothing at all.

Comments

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on January 13, 2020:

Good to hear its not in your nature to throw in the towel.

Taking it day by day is a wise choice. If you do meet up...try to not let anger interfere.

Show him you are better. He will miss you...they always do.

Take care.

Great write.

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