Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.
Some thoughts are so realistic that they feel truer than reality
Waking up the next day thinking it actually happened
When it really didn't and was just a figment of my imagination
Realized that some ideas were better than the actual reality
Day to day life and confidence tended to dissipate
When good sense and nighttime bragging right disappeared
Strange is the word to describe how that seems to work out
Back to why this self-examination has started in the first place
Had a bizarre dream last night that still registered
Into the afternoon of the next day for some reason
Felt very vivid and realistic in format and content
Appeared to be a lot stronger than I thought I was
Had a visual encounter that hasn't actually happened yet
Not sure if it will, but it's a thought of better things to come
Ran into my ex-boyfriend at the bowling alley four months later
Starting our summer league as regularly scheduled programming
Decided in this dream to not let him take over my thoughts or choices
His playful smile disappeared as soon as he saw me
Shocked that I decided to show my face again
Didn't care that he was bothered by my presence
Added bonus that he was uncomfortable about it
Made him hopefully secretly realize that he was in the wrong, not me
Grew increasingly unnerved that he seemed to always be watching my bowling
Hard to fathom that a couple once so love now couldn't be in the same room
Encountered the initial awkwardness as if we were two teenagers
And not adults who should know better than to act like this
Decided to have the necessary conversation in order to have closure
He seemed leery to speak with me in the dream
As if I was going to slap him or rip him a new one in public
Got over the initial anger and bitterness
Decided to call him out for his childish behavior and lack of compassion
When he decided to say goodbye and break my heart in cruel fashion
Had the heart to heart that was needed in order to put him in my past
Stick him in cold storage with the rest of the out of season memories
No longer current, and no longer healthy to contend with
Ready to place him in either cordial space, or one day the friendly zone
Okay, let's be honest, folks.
We'll likely never be friends based on the fact that things didn't end well
Not even sure there will be a level of cordiality either
Willing to try for the sake of being a mature adult
In reality, not entirely sold on the idea of wanting to see him again
Taking it day by day and knowing for certain that I'm not giving up
On the things I like to do for fear of running into him
Not in my nature to throw in the towel, like it was in theirs.
BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on January 13, 2020:
Good to hear its not in your nature to throw in the towel.
Taking it day by day is a wise choice. If you do meet up...try to not let anger interfere.
Show him you are better. He will miss you...they always do.