Child We Already Knew: Poem for a Mother on a Baby Born Still

Updated on September 4, 2018
FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway is an Industrial/Organizational psychologist committed to uplifting and educating others to be reach their full potential.

This beautiful old tree is a place to reflect in the company of relatives long gone
This beautiful old tree is a place to reflect in the company of relatives long gone | Source

Born Still: Child We Already Knew

Pink, yellow, blue

Child we already knew.

No milk-sweet breath, no tiny yawn

No late night feedings, then up at dawn,

But we knew you.


No first words or midnight cries,

No ABCs or lullabies,

But we knew you.


We knew the hopes we had for you

And the joys of expecting you

And our dreams of who you might be

Half your Dad, half of me.


You were wanted and waited for, then born to us, still

We love you now and always will.


We held your dainty fingers,

Kissed your sleeping face

Looked for signs of life, searching just in case.

Perfect, small, and already with God.


Pink, yellow, blue ...

Child we already knew.

Dedication

This poem is dedicated to my sister who gave birth in 2009 to a stillborn daughter, Lacey. "Stillbirth" refers to fetal death at 20 weeks of life or beyond, whereas miscarriage refers to the loss of a pregnancy prior to 20 weeks of gestation. In the U.S., for every 167 births, there is one stillbirth, leaving families to mourn at a time when they were expecting to be celebrating new life.

I read this poem at her funeral and presented the book below to my nephews to help them in understanding the loss.

Help Siblings Understand Their Loss

Something Happened: A Book for Children and Parents Who Have Experienced Pregnancy Loss
Something Happened: A Book for Children and Parents Who Have Experienced Pregnancy Loss

I bought my own nephews this book. It was a lovely story to help young children cope with the stillbirth of a sibling they anticipated and planned for. The book lets them know that their family continues on and that they are safe and loved.

 
Stepping stone from the cemetery:  "Your memory is our keepsake with which will never part.  God has you in His keeping.  We have you in our hearts."
Stepping stone from the cemetery: "Your memory is our keepsake with which will never part. God has you in His keeping. We have you in our hearts." | Source

Questions & Answers

    © 2013 FlourishAnyway

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      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        2 years ago from USA

        Rajan - Thank you for reading. Having a stillborn child is devastating and so sad. The experience always lives with my sister.

      • rajan jolly profile image

        Rajan Singh Jolly 

        2 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

        Here again to read this. This touched the very core of my heart. A new life is a part of the couple's life from the moment it is known and becomes the pivot around which their days revolve.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        3 years ago from USA

        Susie - I'm so sorry about your loss. My sister loves her three boys but lives with baby Lacey's memory just below the surface. Thank you for reading and commenting.

      • colorfulone profile image

        Susie Lehto 

        3 years ago from Minnesota

        Such a beautiful poem about a sad event. Knowing the baby is with God is comforting. I have a baby there.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        ologsinquito - Thank you. She now has three boys, all under the age of 8.

      • ologsinquito profile image

        ologsinquito 

        4 years ago from USA

        Sorry about the loss of your precious niece. I hope your sister is doing okay now.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Jackie - I imagine losing a child is one of the hardest struggles to endure. I'm so sorry you faced this in your life with your sweet granddaughter, Cassie. I hope one day you will hold her hand again in the great beyond.

      • Jackie Lynnley profile image

        Jackie Lynnley 

        4 years ago from The Beautiful South

        I do know how she feels and your poem brought all those feelings to the surface and it really does not matter whose baby it is always such a terrible loss so hard to recover from, if anyone ever really does. There is that hole in your heart forever, of what might have been.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Crafty - That's very sad. You have a good idea with the memory box. Thanks for visiting again to share it.

      • CraftytotheCore profile image

        CraftytotheCore 

        4 years ago

        I'm visiting this one again. I just had a friend call me Friday night. We were out of town. She miscarried her baby. I felt so badly, but luckily I've been through it myself and was able to comfort her. It's so hard for a woman to lose a child. I told her to start a memory box and put all of her memories in it so she could have some closure and find peace.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Benjamin - Thank you for reading and commenting.

      • profile image

        Benjamin Chege 

        4 years ago

        Hi FlourishAnyway. I guess the child to whom you dedicated this poem must be about 7 months old or so. If only they knew how you love them!! This is one of the loveliest poems I have read on HubPages. Voted up, awesome, and beautiful.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        4 years ago from USA

        Crafty - The experience had to be so painful for you and your family. My heart goes out to you.

      • CraftytotheCore profile image

        CraftytotheCore 

        4 years ago

        This is so beautiful. I miscarried twins before my daughter was born. It was such a painful experience. I was already a few months along when it happened. I developed dark circles under my eyes. I had a twitch on my face. It was hard to cope after such a profound loss. Especially when all of my friends were having babies. I couldn't even go to a baby shower or walk near the baby dept. It took a year for me to get pregnant with my daughter. She was also a twin, but the other one didn't develop. They call that a vanishing twin. Having been through this, I can honestly say I can't imagine what it would be like to give birth to a still born baby . It is truly a heart-breaking experience.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        5 years ago from USA

        DDE - Thank you for reading and for your kind comment.

      • DDE profile image

        Devika Primić 

        5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

        A beautifully written poem and so heartfelt make sone think of how precious life is.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        5 years ago from USA

        HeatherH104 - Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate your words of support.

      • HeatherH104 profile image

        HeatherH104 

        5 years ago from USA

        Beautiful words for such a difficult time. It's good to keep sharing these stories so others know how difficult it is.

      • barefoot*princess profile image

        barefoot*princess 

        5 years ago

        Congratulations to your family

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        5 years ago from USA

        barefoot*princess - Thank you for reading and your well wishes. I wrote this for my sister on the stillbirth of her daughter, Lacey. It was read at her funeral. My sister still grieves her baby years later, although I hope with a growing sense of quiet peace. I just returned from holding her newborn baby, Robert, a testament of healing.

      • barefoot*princess profile image

        barefoot*princess 

        5 years ago

        so kind, I hope this brings comfort for the heartache your family must be feeling.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        5 years ago from USA

        prairieprincess - Thanks for reading and for the well wishes for my sister. So sorry about your sister's losses. My sister has been deeply affected by the loss of her stillborn baby. She is a women's health nurse practitioner, too, which for me at least would make it even worse to be faced with pregnant women constantly. The good news, however, is that she is expecting her third boy any day now.

      • prairieprincess profile image

        Sharilee Swaity 

        5 years ago from Canada

        FlourishAnyway, what a beautiful and thoughtful poem! My sister lost two of her children to stillbirth, and I know it is so devastating to those couples who lose a child this way. I am sure your sister must be grateful to you for writing such a sensitive tribute to her unborn child. I am going to share this poem with my sister. Thank you, and I wish all the best for your sister with her next one. My sister now has two little girls, aged 10 and almost 12. They both know about the two little siblings they never got to meet.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        5 years ago from USA

        Thank you, livingsta. My sister is expecting again in late July and we all hope tremendously for a different result.

      • livingsta profile image

        livingsta 

        5 years ago from United Kingdom

        This is so beautiful. Your little niece angel is up there, watching over the loved ones.

        Thank you for sharing this with us. Voted up, awesome and sharing!

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        5 years ago from USA

        Thank you, Rajan.

      • rajan jolly profile image

        Rajan Singh Jolly 

        5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

        Very touching poem. But comfort in the fact that she is up there safe and loved in your hearts.

        Voted beautiful.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        5 years ago from USA

        Thank you, kabanov and christin53. I read it at my niece's funeral.

      • christin53 profile image

        Ann-Christin 

        5 years ago from UK

        What a beautiful and touching poem for such a sad occasion.

      • profile image

        kabanov 

        5 years ago from Russia

        It is a very touching poem, FlourishAnyway.

        Thank you.

      • FlourishAnyway profile imageAUTHOR

        FlourishAnyway 

        5 years ago from USA

        Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging comments!

      • Peggy W profile image

        Peggy Woods 

        5 years ago from Houston, Texas

        What a sweet poem about such a sad event...the birth of a stillborn child. At least there is comfort in knowing that he or she was already reunited with God. Up and beautiful votes.

      • joanveronica profile image

        Joan Veronica Robertson 

        5 years ago from Concepcion, Chile

        Hi there, this was a stunning read, so welcome to Hubpages! I hope to see many more of these lovely Hubs, you are very talented. I wish you all the best, this is a good site and the community is very nice. Have a good day

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