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Chaotic Wanderings of a College Student

When i was younger I grew up wanting no pain for my friends

But instead to bear it all on my shoulders till the very end

And now that I’m older it seems to come true

Except my friends are still sad so what else is there left to do

I got too comfortable feeling so stable

So now without that i fear i’m inable

To cope with my life with no medicine to take

I dissociate, distract, to focus on what i’ve got to make

I never said that I wanted to die

And even now at the worst im not thinking suicide

I’m thinking of life and what is left to now come

Have i gone through the worst with no blood to which i’ve clung?

I do feel not fear but intense dread of what’s near

As it draws closer with no one holding me dear

Full of worries and terrors my heart can’t decide

Should i stay here and feel it or live my next life

© 2022 Melanie Wynne

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