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Can't Hate You


I can't hate you even if I wanted to. Its always been me, am the problem and I just can't figure out how to forgive myself.

I can't forget you even if I was paid to do so. I bet if I were to be in a coma you'd be the first name I'd say when I wake up. Its hard just thinking of trying to forget you, very painful that those migraines keep creeping back and my heart slows down a bit.

I can't say I regret anything about you, I personally think you are the definition of perfect . Am more than certain that there's nothing I would change, I wouldn't change a thing. I cant have your memories wiped, its that pinch of pain that keeps me sane and reminds me of what could have been. I wouldn't have it any other way.
if I could time travel. I'd probably just go to the moment before we met, and we'd live just like we did until I messed that up. Wouldn't change a thing, but maybe I'd go back a couple more times just to feel alive again.
Never thought I could let go, am not saying have let you go, its just portions of you, the ones I can't get back though I badly crave them. You still draw a smile on my face, but you just don't know it. I really hope you are happier.

© 2021 Amani Utembu

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