An immortal spoon that holds truth
Feeding me lies is all you do, so smooth
I try to swallow knowledge despite the overlapping ignorance
The edges that cut and destroy any traces left in the distance
I knelt to your motionless ways, despite our difference
You kept trapping me inside your brilliance
I was just another death in the many you had left
Just how many more tries, you immortal lie?
I wanted the clearness of dust
how fast did I trust?
The wasted energy, the most expensive time in my memory
You hated my guts,
that's funny I assume you weakened the enemy
Nay, you turned the rusted mud
that was you, the flower inside the hurried bud
I look away
at my cage
and see myself locked in a box full of man-made tray
I wonder how
I see why now...
You chose me, and my death was the ultimate use for your tao
I'll wait patiently.
Do not ask me to be myself so kindly
I've been tired for years,
I wish I kept something for your dried tears
I keep pushing away the light
Not facing my own might
Hiding behind the same person for ages
Two decades and I'm still inside massive cages.
I'm faded with a twisted color imbalance
I like seeing more wonder
Maybe that's why we fall short on appreciation
We want it so bad but never give it to ourselves
I want to see you so bad,
the logic inside my bed
I never thought I had this big void
I guess the night showed me the weakest light
To my caged self, I bid you well.
© 2018 Leila Abouzaki