I just spend an hour doing extremely nothing, just breathing and the regular blinks.
Found nothing to smile to really.
And I don't have trust issues, just blame it on love. I don't even trust me like i ought too.
I don't believe I was hurt, just crushed and squashed. So that me is really not here anymore. When am not myself, its because I can't be myself.
No anger issues. Just a mess most of the times. I don't really mean most of the things I say, so don't take it personally.
. I would willingly take a heart transplant, act like am starting over but this stupid brain will still be feeding lies to the newcomer. Too bad I can't have it cut off.
Its stupid I know although I won't admit it (literally) that maybe things will get to be different, at least once....
I don't even know whose fault it is really, just blame it on love.
. if I seem moody, just lay it all on love. Not my fault.
. if I seem blind, confused, blank or just lost just blame it all on love.
. I don't cry, nothing seems life changing anymore. I just lose it when I see people ' in love '... Ohh silly hearts.
If I never recover, don't mention 'love ' to me.
© 2020 Amani Utembu
BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on April 05, 2020:
Love is wierd...not sure.
Maybe its just the people not understanding how to love one another. .how to accept a love that is true.
Amani Utembu (author) from Nairobi -Kenya on April 05, 2020:
Makes two of us.. Am also confused.... You can never tell if its both sided.... Love is weird
BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on April 04, 2020:
Sad to be so crushed and hurt by love that there is nothing to smile about.
The feelings of pain are real. I can feel it tearing my heart apart. Blame it all on love is good, but I often wonder if the love was even real or was it one sided and I'm the only one lost with this heartache.