Bad Santa RHYMES

Updated on November 28, 2017

Merry Christmas to all

— Ryan Cornelius

Bad Santa

Are professional thieves in a department store.
Disguised as Santa and his elf.
By midnight, he's someone else.
He robs the store of 11 grand.
The robbery is successful.
But Willie is still miserable.
He is very much bitter.
Thought his dad was a loser.
He could find no Joy in Christmas.
But found joy in being a sex addict.
Marcus takes his role very seriously.
Willies habits disables him from doing
From doing his duties as Santa.
Despite this, he is still hired.
Hired to work in a Pheonix mall.
They need a new Santa Clause.
BOB CHIPSEKA is watching them.
Has security keep an eye on them.
While he is working.
He meets a kid named THURMAN.
Thurman's naive and overweight.
Who thinks Willie has a sleigh.
He thinks Willie is really Santa.
He protects Willie from an attacker.
Will gives him a ride home.
Thurman then invites him into his home.
He reveals that his mom had died.
While his dad is inside.
Inside of a jail cell.
Next year he'd be out of the jail cell.
Meanwhile, Willie tricks Thurman.
Tricks Thurman into letting.
Letting him go and take.
The merchandise from the house safe.
Willie goes to his motel room
He sees that his hotel room.
Has been raided.
Causing him to take advantage.
Takes advantage of Thurman.
Living in the house with Thurman.
Thurman is delighted.
But it doesn't sit well with Marcus.
Marcus states what he feels.
Willie gets angry because he is being real.
He talks about Thurman's grandmother.
While the security visits Roger.
Who reveals where Willie is staying.
Which results in Gin confronting.
Confronting Marcus and Willie.
Then takes them out drinking.
At the Bar, he reveals their plan.
He later makes a demand.
To get half and he will keep silent.
Marcus tries hard to reason.
He offers Gin a smaller cut.
Gin is adamant about the smaller cut.
Putting Willie and Marcus in a Corner.
Their partnership is drifting farther.
Drifting farther apart.
Later, Marcus and Gin are shocked.
Shocked because he showed up drunk.
Attempting suicide because he's drunk.
He gives Thurman a letter to show the police.
Confessing a heist taking place on Christmas Eve.
He then notices Thurman's black eye.
Willie goes and fins the guy.
He beats the guy that bullied Thurman.
Frightening the others that participated.
Eventually, they stop.
While Marcus sets up a trap.
A trap for Gin to fall in.
He does and Marcus puts to an end.
He ends Gin's life.
Willie gets ready for the Christmas life.
He shops for presents.
Getting Thurman all he wanted for Christmas.
Meanwhile, Marcus is trying to kill Willie.
Feeling his carelessness is increasing.
Marcus is fed up with it year after year.
Doesn't want to go through it another year.
So he attempts to shoot Willie.
The police come warming.
The letter Thurman gave to the police.
Had them ready for the robbery.
They shoot Marcus and Willie escapes.
Then leads the police on a small chase.
Gets shot but is he loves his new place.

Billie Bob Thornton
Tony Cox
Brett Kelly
Bernie Mac

Bad Santa 2

Thirteen years after the first.
WILLIE STOKES is older and maybe worse.
Still depressed as ever.
That happy ending did not make it better.
He seemed happy being a loser.
Remained unhappy even tho he recovered.
Thurman comes around every now and then.
Willie's the closest thing to family again.
Thurman saves him from committing suicide.
Delivering a package with money inside.
Then Willie finds out.
That his former Partner has gotten out.
MARCUS has gotten out of jail.
He meets with Willie confessing he failed.
But also tells him he's sorry.
Then offers him an opportunity.
Opportunity in Chicago.
They can make money in Chicago.
Willie reluctantly agrees to it.
The goes to leave with Marcus.
Upon their arrival in Chicago.
Wille finds what he didn't want to know.
That his mother SUNNY is still alive.
She's the contact Marcus tried to hide.
Yet his mom has a disease.
A disease that makes Willie agree.
Willie agrees to do the heist.
Secretly after he'd cut her from his life.
After years he puts on the suit again.
Then teams up with Sunny to get donations.
Get donations for the charity they plan to steal from.
He beats another Santa.
Then arrested seconds after.
He's taken to jail and bailed out.
The charity founder bails him out.
DIANE disapproves of his behavior.
Willie gets help for his behavior.
He convinces her to let him stay.
So he joins a meeting to stay.
If he was kicked out he'd ruin the plan.
Meanwhile, Marcus finds out.
That Diane's husband is tapping out.
Cheating on his wife Diane.
Not knowing that Diane.
Is attracted to Willie.
She ends up having sex with Willie.
Later he and Sunny bond.
He's Santa and she's Mrs.Clause.
They rob a mansion.
While REGENT's investigating.
THURMAN arrives in Chicago.
He had high hopes.
Hopes to spend Christmas.
After Sunny makes a decision.
A decision to give him a gun.
Hoping he'd kill the one.
Marcus. Willie said he changed.
Sunny thinks that he's the same.
Willie ditches Thurman.
While the trio is planning.
Planning the heist.
Willie finds out the same night.
That Sunny wants Marcus dead.
She wants him to shoot him in the head.
On the night of the heist.
Willie hears Thurman singing Silent Night.
He later goes to crack the safe.
He opens up the safe and cleans it.
While Sunny plans on betraying.
Betraying them both for the money.
Shes arrested and Willie ends up believing.

Bill Bob Thornton
Tony Cox
Kathy Bates

© 2017 Ryan Jarvis Cornelius


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    • Ryan Cornelius profile image

      Ryan Jarvis Cornelius 4 months ago from Hollywood Florida

      It actually is. Had to get past everything else to understand it.

    • Coffeequeeen profile image

      Louise Powles 4 months ago from Norfolk, England

      That's an interesting look at these films. I've not seen either of them, but they sound very interesting. =)