Bad Santa RHYMES

Updated on November 28, 2017

Merry Christmas to all

— Ryan Cornelius

Bad Santa

Are professional thieves in a department store.
Disguised as Santa and his elf.
By midnight, he's someone else.
He robs the store of 11 grand.
The robbery is successful.
But Willie is still miserable.
He is very much bitter.
Thought his dad was a loser.
He could find no Joy in Christmas.
But found joy in being a sex addict.
Marcus takes his role very seriously.
Willies habits disables him from doing
From doing his duties as Santa.
Despite this, he is still hired.
Hired to work in a Pheonix mall.
They need a new Santa Clause.
BOB CHIPSEKA is watching them.
Has security keep an eye on them.
While he is working.
He meets a kid named THURMAN.
Thurman's naive and overweight.
Who thinks Willie has a sleigh.
He thinks Willie is really Santa.
He protects Willie from an attacker.
Will gives him a ride home.
Thurman then invites him into his home.
He reveals that his mom had died.
While his dad is inside.
Inside of a jail cell.
Next year he'd be out of the jail cell.
Meanwhile, Willie tricks Thurman.
Tricks Thurman into letting.
Letting him go and take.
The merchandise from the house safe.
Willie goes to his motel room
He sees that his hotel room.
Has been raided.
Causing him to take advantage.
Takes advantage of Thurman.
Living in the house with Thurman.
Thurman is delighted.
But it doesn't sit well with Marcus.
Marcus states what he feels.
Willie gets angry because he is being real.
He talks about Thurman's grandmother.
While the security visits Roger.
Who reveals where Willie is staying.
Which results in Gin confronting.
Confronting Marcus and Willie.
Then takes them out drinking.
At the Bar, he reveals their plan.
He later makes a demand.
To get half and he will keep silent.
Marcus tries hard to reason.
He offers Gin a smaller cut.
Gin is adamant about the smaller cut.
Putting Willie and Marcus in a Corner.
Their partnership is drifting farther.
Drifting farther apart.
Later, Marcus and Gin are shocked.
Shocked because he showed up drunk.
Attempting suicide because he's drunk.
He gives Thurman a letter to show the police.
Confessing a heist taking place on Christmas Eve.
He then notices Thurman's black eye.
Willie goes and fins the guy.
He beats the guy that bullied Thurman.
Frightening the others that participated.
Eventually, they stop.
While Marcus sets up a trap.
A trap for Gin to fall in.
He does and Marcus puts to an end.
He ends Gin's life.
Willie gets ready for the Christmas life.
He shops for presents.
Getting Thurman all he wanted for Christmas.
Meanwhile, Marcus is trying to kill Willie.
Feeling his carelessness is increasing.
Marcus is fed up with it year after year.
Doesn't want to go through it another year.
So he attempts to shoot Willie.
The police come warming.
The letter Thurman gave to the police.
Had them ready for the robbery.
They shoot Marcus and Willie escapes.
Then leads the police on a small chase.
Gets shot but is he loves his new place.

Billie Bob Thornton
Tony Cox
Brett Kelly
Bernie Mac

Bad Santa 2

Thirteen years after the first.
WILLIE STOKES is older and maybe worse.
Still depressed as ever.
That happy ending did not make it better.
He seemed happy being a loser.
Remained unhappy even tho he recovered.
Thurman comes around every now and then.
Willie's the closest thing to family again.
Thurman saves him from committing suicide.
Delivering a package with money inside.
Then Willie finds out.
That his former Partner has gotten out.
MARCUS has gotten out of jail.
He meets with Willie confessing he failed.
But also tells him he's sorry.
Then offers him an opportunity.
Opportunity in Chicago.
They can make money in Chicago.
Willie reluctantly agrees to it.
The goes to leave with Marcus.
Upon their arrival in Chicago.
Wille finds what he didn't want to know.
That his mother SUNNY is still alive.
She's the contact Marcus tried to hide.
Yet his mom has a disease.
A disease that makes Willie agree.
Willie agrees to do the heist.
Secretly after he'd cut her from his life.
After years he puts on the suit again.
Then teams up with Sunny to get donations.
Get donations for the charity they plan to steal from.
He beats another Santa.
Then arrested seconds after.
He's taken to jail and bailed out.
The charity founder bails him out.
DIANE disapproves of his behavior.
Willie gets help for his behavior.
He convinces her to let him stay.
So he joins a meeting to stay.
If he was kicked out he'd ruin the plan.
Meanwhile, Marcus finds out.
That Diane's husband is tapping out.
Cheating on his wife Diane.
Not knowing that Diane.
Is attracted to Willie.
She ends up having sex with Willie.
Later he and Sunny bond.
He's Santa and she's Mrs.Clause.
They rob a mansion.
While REGENT's investigating.
THURMAN arrives in Chicago.
He had high hopes.
Hopes to spend Christmas.
After Sunny makes a decision.
A decision to give him a gun.
Hoping he'd kill the one.
Marcus. Willie said he changed.
Sunny thinks that he's the same.
Willie ditches Thurman.
While the trio is planning.
Planning the heist.
Willie finds out the same night.
That Sunny wants Marcus dead.
She wants him to shoot him in the head.
On the night of the heist.
Willie hears Thurman singing Silent Night.
He later goes to crack the safe.
He opens up the safe and cleans it.
While Sunny plans on betraying.
Betraying them both for the money.
Shes arrested and Willie ends up believing.

Bill Bob Thornton
Tony Cox
Kathy Bates

Questions & Answers

    © 2017 Ryan Jarvis Cornelius



      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment
      • Ryan Cornelius profile imageAUTHOR

        Ryan Jarvis Cornelius 

        14 months ago from Hollywood Florida

        It actually is. Had to get past everything else to understand it.

      • Coffeequeeen profile image

        Louise Powles 

        14 months ago from Norfolk, England

        That's an interesting look at these films. I've not seen either of them, but they sound very interesting. =)


      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

      Show Details
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)