Imani is a senior Applied Math major who's had a passion for writing for years. She has published a few poems and short stories.
To Be Loved
Sloppy kisses while sitting on rooftops
Laughing as we run when we feel rain drops
Talking all night in the car until the rain stops
Falling in love in the simplest ways
Pillow talking about our dreams and fears
Quite moans no one else hears
Holding each other so tight the world disappears
Loving each other in the simplest of ways
With you I never feel alone
In your arms, I feel at home
And as I inhale deep breaths of your cologne
I embrace this feeling that I had never known
My heart warm from what it had been shown
To be loved in the simplest of ways
Shaking legs, quivering lips
You rattle me.
Silver tongue, strong arms
You caress me.
Locked eyes, stolen kisses
You entrance me.
But love doesn’t exist here.
She knocks and we refuse to answer,
Scared she’ll ruin it all:
The playful whispers
The unashamed moans
The silent agreement
That this “romance” must remain physical.
And yet something else is there, Knocking...
We were meant to be temporary lovers.
Friends with benefits but not friends.
But one day it'll all be faint, distant memories
Where you don't remember the curve of my hips
And I've forgotten the taste of your lips.
We'll look back and strain to recall each other's faces.
Were your eyes green or blue?
Did you have a dimple?
God, I used to be enamored by your smile but why?
We'll look back and realize it could've been more.
Not quite the one that got away,
Just the one neither of us wanted to hold onto.
It starts to rain,
And at first, it’s refreshing.
You close your eyes hoping the droplets can wash away your stress, maybe your sins.
Then the water picks up, hard and fast.
It’s hard to see, it stings your skin.
You see water is now covering your feet.
It’s slowing you down.
You panic as the water rises to your knees.
You see a hill in the distance, you start to run to it.
You struggle and the rain is unsympathetic.
You see others with lifeboats and floats.
You call out, begging for help.
The water reaches your chest,
Too concerned and confused as to why no one can help you,
You forget you can swim.
The water is at your chin.
You see someone gliding through the water.
“Swim!” they scream.
But you can’t hear over your despair.
You can see the hill, so close yet so far.
You suffer through the water,
Your head occasionally dipping beneath the surface.
You can see the hill.
Why weren’t you prepared for the flood?
How come those around you were?
You just need to get to that damn hill.
Elevation is salvation.
But how can you get there?
If your kisses were raindrops,
I’d pray for a hurricane.
If your voice were the winds,
Please send a tornado.
If your touch were a flame?
Light my body ablaze.
For you are the world’s loveliest disaster
I did not believe in spirits until I met you.
Because now there are nights, I sense your presence in my bed, but I know you are not there.
How foolish of me to give you everything when all you gave me was disappointment.
You gave me the world, as promised, after you polluted it, set it ablaze, ruined it.
I keep trying to find myself,
As we all are,
But I never know where to look.
I've searched in lovers,
In books, In exercise, In writing
In wine bottles and old flames
In diets and drugs.
And sometimes I think I've almost found me,
But instead, I find only little fragments,
Teasing me, mocking me.
But then I think, maybe that's the point.
No one thing, activity, or person can make you happy
It can't make you whole.
You only get fragments, and you have to piece it all together yourself.
Or maybe I'm wrong,
And I'm only trying to make myself feel better about my confusion.
About being lost and stranded in life's jungle.
But what else can I do besides keep searching?
We were 2 broken hearts trying to heal each other.
Until we realized we were just 2 halves on one whole,
Being told we were broken by those who couldn’t see the whole picture
© 2021 Imani Jade