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Am Letting You Go


I broke yet another promise to myself, and am afraid amma break myself sooner than I expected.
I went out again, hoping that the breezes, or the clouds or at least the trees would swing and whisper back, just say something. Just a little ' hey '... .. Just a little hey.
Am not crazy or insane, I hope. Am really just stuck, confused. And am sure my problem is just a lot of over thinking.
Am not sure anymore, always on the fence because am not sure you for it, I still want you to be proud and honestly I don't know how to do that.
I don't even know what am saying. I don't know, maybe am still hurting, maybe I still miss you. And I think I would need you right bout now. Was never good at good byes.
Let's just make peace for now. Set me free, just for a little while. Something like a short term break to be my own person. Which means I'll probably get bruised a lot, or my heart will probably wake up from that long coma its been in for as long as I can remember..
I just want to go wild for a minute, maybe pretend you are not watching or just let it pass by.
I am not tired of you, I don't think I ever can be, I think I should let you go.
Maybe cry it out for a few days, and get out of that cage that shuts my heart just like the smell of blood.

© 2020 Amani Utembu

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