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Am I Forever Empty

Am I forever empty
Poured out in vain for love
Or was I born as an unquenchable void

Can I scrape my own kind onto my heart
As a fresco, drawn quickly before it dries
Where haste would live the remainder of my life

Was it my nature that was ambushed
by convention, yet my fear is not loneliness
But instead how I have found myself

I do not wish to make a choice
If I am blind, I will meet you in darkness
And if I am light, will it shine upon another?

If my blood remains warm
It is because I am alive, yet I feel from you
the cold of a winter that I pray will one day end


Mark Lecuona (author) from Austin, Texas on December 02, 2018:

Thank you for reading my poem Paul. I'm am happy that it helped you. I think for myself I have found that being alone is the desired state but I have struggled with this for a few years now. I have evolved from wanting companionship to now cherishing freedom. I don't know if that is the right way to feel or not but I no longer believe it is a rationalization of my situation. I recall pursuing women with vigor long ago. Now I only think about it. There is no call to action. That must be the answer.

I'm sorry for your troubles. Just know that "bad" is only temporary and hopefully it came from outside sources and not yourself. And if from yourself, know that redemption, forgiveness and hope are all available to you.

Paul Balagtas from Philippines on December 01, 2018:

I read this poem at the right time. Just moments ago I was reflecting on how bad this year was for me. Thinking about when I can finally move on and forgive. And the line about "the source of your fear being who you are" touched me the most. Something I need to further reflect on as the year closes.... Very meaningful poem.

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