Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride Syndrome

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.

Believed in the institution of marriage since little girl in knee socks

Hoped to walk down the aisle at some point when I got older

Realizing the stronger possibility that it might not ever happen

Not frightened by that notion; just frustrated by a lack of good taste

Choosing men that enjoyed my company and didn't respect me

Pretended to appreciate my efforts to take care of them

When it suited their individual needs for the moment

Secretly grew bored and frustrated that they're trapped

In a situation of their own making by providing false promises

They would never follow through on committing to anyway

The idea of commitment alone made them break out in hives

Too independent and stubborn to change their deep set ways

Rebelling and living against the populous grain by choice and accident

Never offered any true level of stability and reliability to begin with

Just a false notion of security to keep you coming back for more

Time with them, even though it was borrowed to the hilt

On credit from the lender that held the title to their future and heart

Acted like they were independent wealthy in personality and compassion

Turned out even that was a lie in itself when it mattered most

Couldn't stand the idea of you being sick because it grossed them out

Made you feel like a sickening failure for no particular reason

Thought that I was living my truth with a caring and supportive partner

Not entirely true either because I suppressed some of my desires

To keep the peace and them from heading for the hills

Realized that was always going to be inevitable like death and taxes

You wanted kids and they already had their go around with them

Blessing in disguise that we never had them in the first place

No need to be tied to someone who didn't love, or even like you

Made an effort to embrace smoothing out some of my hard won traits

Relaxing some of my partially serious nature to have more adventures

Tried to play the part of the chick with the devil may care attitude

Attracting men with a sparkling personality that loved to have fun

Laughing at sometimes cartoonish frat boy humor to appease their guys

Pretending to laugh at jokes that were just plain pedestrian in taste

Dissatisfied with going down the aisle of make believe

Returning gladly to the tried and true traits of my personality

Sure, I'm an acquired taste sometimes to friends and family

Haven't been able to maintain a successful relationship

Guess it was time to focus on keeping my relationship with myself functional

Starting small before working outward and on permanent pairings

Zeroing in on common interests and having both being accommodating

One person shouldn't just have to sacrifice everything to make things work

Two way streets led to a more solidified future with like-minded personalities to help

Won't settle for anything less.