Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride Syndrome
Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 13 years.
Believed in the institution of marriage since little girl in knee socks
Hoped to walk down the aisle at some point when I got older
Realizing the stronger possibility that it might not ever happen
Not frightened by that notion; just frustrated by a lack of good taste
Choosing men that enjoyed my company and didn't respect me
Pretended to appreciate my efforts to take care of them
When it suited their individual needs for the moment
Secretly grew bored and frustrated that they're trapped
In a situation of their own making by providing false promises
They would never follow through on committing to anyway
The idea of commitment alone made them break out in hives
Too independent and stubborn to change their deep set ways
Rebelling and living against the populous grain by choice and accident
Never offered any true level of stability and reliability to begin with
Just a false notion of security to keep you coming back for more
Time with them, even though it was borrowed to the hilt
On credit from the lender that held the title to their future and heart
Acted like they were independent wealthy in personality and compassion
Turned out even that was a lie in itself when it mattered most
Couldn't stand the idea of you being sick because it grossed them out
Made you feel like a sickening failure for no particular reason
Thought that I was living my truth with a caring and supportive partner
Not entirely true either because I suppressed some of my desires
To keep the peace and them from heading for the hills
Realized that was always going to be inevitable like death and taxes
You wanted kids and they already had their go around with them
Blessing in disguise that we never had them in the first place
No need to be tied to someone who didn't love, or even like you
Made an effort to embrace smoothing out some of my hard won traits
Relaxing some of my partially serious nature to have more adventures
Tried to play the part of the chick with the devil may care attitude
Attracting men with a sparkling personality that loved to have fun
Laughing at sometimes cartoonish frat boy humor to appease their guys
Pretending to laugh at jokes that were just plain pedestrian in taste
Dissatisfied with going down the aisle of make believe
Returning gladly to the tried and true traits of my personality
Sure, I'm an acquired taste sometimes to friends and family
Haven't been able to maintain a successful relationship
Guess it was time to focus on keeping my relationship with myself functional
Starting small before working outward and on permanent pairings
Zeroing in on common interests and having both being accommodating
One person shouldn't just have to sacrifice everything to make things work
Two way streets led to a more solidified future with like-minded personalities to help
Won't settle for anything less.