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After Years

after-years

As music courses through my veins,

My body reacts automatically to it,

Swaying and twirling around,

My white dress flowing in the wind.


I twirl around like a graceful ballerina,

Until his voice rings in my ears,

My body freezes for a second,

But my movements become more graceful.


Wrapping a hand around myself I finally stop,

Something so warm and full filling my chest,

I breathe heavily,

Not being able to identify myself.


Eyes half shut,

As my lips part letting out a content sigh,

Body tingling with intense emotions,

If not let out may burst inside.


I lay flat on the ground,

My white dress making me look like an angel,

I let out a small chuckle, ‘Angel’,

I close my eyes and let myself breathe.


I never would’ve guessed that it would’ve happened next,

But as I open my eyes, I feel a small tear trickling down my face,

Tear after tear until all i call feel is the wetness of my cheeks,

All cold because of the wind.


Letting out a defeated sigh I get up,

Moving towards the music system to switch it off,

I clutch the shelf tight,

And let out everything bottled inside of me.


Laughing and crying at my own self,

But then again it was me who got me in a situation like this,

I knew the consequences and I knew it was no good for me,

But who cares?


If I say I was drunk in love back then,

Then I’d say I’m probably wrecked now,

Because even after so many years his voice still stirs a storm in me,

Because even after so many years I’m still there.


It is so amusing,

How he could never be mine but I unconsciously handed myself to him,

And even after so long I find it impossible to get rid of his shackles,

I’m a prisoner in my own love.


It’s been a while since I gazed at his sweet face,

But I remember every wrinkle,

Every feature as if I’ve traced that face countless times myself,

I close my eyes only to meet his glimmering ones.


My heart beats rapidly,

As I wrap myself in a warm blanket and try to think of something else,

But when was I ever successful in it?

Because even after all these years I still love him.


-

Ishita Bose.

© 2021 Ishita Bose

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