As music courses through my veins,
My body reacts automatically to it,
Swaying and twirling around,
My white dress flowing in the wind.
I twirl around like a graceful ballerina,
Until his voice rings in my ears,
My body freezes for a second,
But my movements become more graceful.
Wrapping a hand around myself I finally stop,
Something so warm and full filling my chest,
I breathe heavily,
Not being able to identify myself.
Eyes half shut,
As my lips part letting out a content sigh,
Body tingling with intense emotions,
If not let out may burst inside.
I lay flat on the ground,
My white dress making me look like an angel,
I let out a small chuckle, ‘Angel’,
I close my eyes and let myself breathe.
I never would’ve guessed that it would’ve happened next,
But as I open my eyes, I feel a small tear trickling down my face,
Tear after tear until all i call feel is the wetness of my cheeks,
All cold because of the wind.
Letting out a defeated sigh I get up,
Moving towards the music system to switch it off,
I clutch the shelf tight,
And let out everything bottled inside of me.
Laughing and crying at my own self,
But then again it was me who got me in a situation like this,
I knew the consequences and I knew it was no good for me,
But who cares?
If I say I was drunk in love back then,
Then I’d say I’m probably wrecked now,
Because even after so many years his voice still stirs a storm in me,
Because even after so many years I’m still there.
It is so amusing,
How he could never be mine but I unconsciously handed myself to him,
And even after so long I find it impossible to get rid of his shackles,
I’m a prisoner in my own love.
It’s been a while since I gazed at his sweet face,
But I remember every wrinkle,
Every feature as if I’ve traced that face countless times myself,
I close my eyes only to meet his glimmering ones.
My heart beats rapidly,
As I wrap myself in a warm blanket and try to think of something else,
But when was I ever successful in it?
Because even after all these years I still love him.
© 2021 Ishita Bose