Adventures in Hibernation to the Extreme

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.

Paid the ultimate price in being the diligent worker bee

Tried to make up for some lack of who knows what

Ended up burning the candle at both ends

All the way down to the nub and felt the strong afteraffects

Made myself sick from working endless hours

That was ultimately my undoing after all

I chose to work for almost two weeks straight with no days off

Wore my resistance down to the point where I got really sick

Also, didn't help that I didn't remember that the medication

Gave me a bad reaction the last time I took it

Hated the idea of feeling useless and calling out sick for a whole week

Couldn't function in an upright position for very long

Energy depleted to the point where cabin fever started to set in

Old anxieties from before started to come back

Was able to keep them at bay when finally ended up on the mend

Forced to think about myself for once and not painful memories

Of the man who broke my heart four months ago

Getting close to the idea of making plans to getting back out there

Hesitant to do so because afraid to repeat any potential mistakes

Such as how honest should I be with my future partner

Thought my straight forward nature would win out

Turns out it scared the last suitor away

But it also was doomed to fail due to our differing goals

I had plenty and he had none

Lousy to think that such a long term investment imploded

Like it did, but it is what it is

Cannot change the past, or even erase the sting of their actions

Just need to learn how to be myself in a relationship

Not settle for less and move forward in a manner

That works out for both parties involved

A business partnership of sorts of the dating variety

Searching for meaning by breaking out of this mole hole

Locked myself into for far too long

Surely, they've not given this much thought about me

Look at how they took the coward's approach in ending things

Time to close the door, lock it and throw away the key

Better safe to not look back

Nothing good would ever come from it anyways.

Comments

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on January 25, 2020:

Good read.

It is hard to get back out there. Do not listen to anyone else.

You will know when the time is right. I cannot even imagine doing this yet, especially with the type of men out there.

I think I forgot how to date. I long for the someone to know me from inside out ...but Right now I am taking care of myself.

Getting to know me again. Doing things I put on the back burner, following my dreams with alot of sleepless nights.

Don't beat yourself up. You will get there when you are supposed too.