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All the Years

Year one was all the fun, id always thought you to be my my number one

Work by day love by night we were always so tight

You thought of me always we until you wanted to fight

I prayed and prayed for God to give me a sign and then he gave me those two little blue lines

We were happy and free trying to make a life for us as three just letting time fly like a breeze

Everything was all cool and dandy until your mind changed; "you're a whore you're fake that baby I didnt make"

I still stuck by you with every stone you threw wishing but never threw them back at you

Just building my walls higher and higher he'll understand one day and then we can be the way it used to be

By the time year three you wasn't ever there for me

Going to work and disappearing for days while I just sit here still trying to find you wishing I could hold you just to know you were ok

Begging and crying trying to figure out what I did to be alone and why you always stayed gone

Always asking questions with no answers so then for the next three years id just pray to just die

All ive ever wanted was to just know why

By year six I sit quite just to wait for a response with nothing to say bc I just always felt in the way

Always something to do without a doubt but no energy to want to move about

The monsters in my mind had hold of me no doubt

Always the bad is what you've thought of me then why continue to make it be

Ive gave you my heart from the start but in return you can't help to destroy me

The next few years we were pretty happy until once again the name calling began

"your garbage"

"I'll never have s*** with you"

"your selfish"

"you don't deserve s***"

" you ruin all my days"

"you're a whore"

I really cant stand no more

Trying and doing everything in my might to get us back right is draining me inside

I'm hopeful for the real love to come back

The little things in life matter to me and I guess that what you will never see that

I just wish you'd think better of me

There's a stronger me brewing on the inside

She learned that you can love and forgive but she deserves more

Belittling and mind games cant hurt her no more

Shes slowing inching torward the door

Finnally she sees its not worth it and she worth so much more

Wishing you caught on before she closed that door

She decided not to take no more

© 2019 Kyah Aljawfi

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