Year one was all the fun, id always thought you to be my my number one
Work by day love by night we were always so tight
You thought of me always we until you wanted to fight
I prayed and prayed for God to give me a sign and then he gave me those two little blue lines
We were happy and free trying to make a life for us as three just letting time fly like a breeze
Everything was all cool and dandy until your mind changed; "you're a whore you're fake that baby I didnt make"
I still stuck by you with every stone you threw wishing but never threw them back at you
Just building my walls higher and higher he'll understand one day and then we can be the way it used to be
By the time year three you wasn't ever there for me
Going to work and disappearing for days while I just sit here still trying to find you wishing I could hold you just to know you were ok
Begging and crying trying to figure out what I did to be alone and why you always stayed gone
Always asking questions with no answers so then for the next three years id just pray to just die
All ive ever wanted was to just know why
By year six I sit quite just to wait for a response with nothing to say bc I just always felt in the way
Always something to do without a doubt but no energy to want to move about
The monsters in my mind had hold of me no doubt
Always the bad is what you've thought of me then why continue to make it be
Ive gave you my heart from the start but in return you can't help to destroy me
The next few years we were pretty happy until once again the name calling began
"I'll never have s*** with you"
"you don't deserve s***"
" you ruin all my days"
"you're a whore"
I really cant stand no more
Trying and doing everything in my might to get us back right is draining me inside
I'm hopeful for the real love to come back
The little things in life matter to me and I guess that what you will never see that
I just wish you'd think better of me
There's a stronger me brewing on the inside
She learned that you can love and forgive but she deserves more
Belittling and mind games cant hurt her no more
Shes slowing inching torward the door
Finnally she sees its not worth it and she worth so much more
Wishing you caught on before she closed that door
She decided not to take no more
© 2019 Kyah Aljawfi