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The Wedding Night Nightmare: a Poem

Maria is a master of public health, and a master gardener. She & husband Bo, known online as The Gardener & The Cook are in coastal Alabama.

People heal from emotional and physical trauma at different stages. For some, it takes longer than others.

The pain, and the lack of trust can return when least expected. The fear, a type of PTSD, returns when least expected. A sudden movement. A fragrance or odor. Anything can bring it all back.

For women who have been abused, it can harm otherwise good relationships. Often the innocent new partner feels he is paying for the crimes of the ex-husband or ex-boyfriend.

This is my first attempt at writing a poem. I wrote it almost twenty years ago when I was doing the “morning pages” of Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way. I was thinking back on some counseling sessions, and it came pouring out of me – when I least expected it.

Some of the offenders are men who are angry at women in general. Some are men who want to control “their” women. Some are young boys or young men who are over eager at their first sexual experience — I believe this is what the poem below describes.



Love is patient and kind.

Love is patient and kind.

Why did you hurt me so?

How is it you can still hurt me,

After all these years?

You know I want to forget,

To move forward,

To love,

To laugh.

a-wedding-night

Why did you need to take my innocence

So brutally that night?

That lovely night?

When I see your face

Or hear your voice,

I shudder.

I cringe.

I feel such anger,

Such a betrayal of trust,

Of love and dignity.

a-wedding-night

That fear,

That anger,

That loss of dignity and trust

Has stayed with me.

a-wedding-night

It touches everyone around me.

It spills over into everything I do,

Or try to do.

Into every relationship.

Where was tenderness?

And caring?

And patience?

It was, you know,

Our wedding night.

© 2021 MariaMontgomery

Comments Are Always Welcome

MariaMontgomery (author) from Coastal Alabama, USA on September 16, 2021:

Thanks, John. I wasn't sure if I should publish it. Now I'm glad I did.

MariaMontgomery (author) from Coastal Alabama, USA on September 16, 2021:

Thank you, Brenda. I tried to get inside the mind of so many women.

MariaMontgomery (author) from Coastal Alabama, USA on September 16, 2021:

Thank you, Miebakagh. I'm glad you like it. Thanks for reading it.

MariaMontgomery (author) from Coastal Alabama, USA on September 16, 2021:

Thank you, Shauna. That was the very point I wanted to make.

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on September 16, 2021:

Maria, this is a very powerful poem. You depicted the lasting insecurity, anger, hurt, withdrawal of a woman who has been abused by someone who should have been loving and tender. Those memories last a lifetime and often get in the way of the abused being fully open to love and trust.

Spot on, Maria!

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on September 15, 2021:

I read the poem. I like it. But the some men handle love affairs is very fearful.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on September 15, 2021:

Great ink.

It's hard to fathom the answers that one never gets.

You describe the questions perfectly that one has inside her mind.

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on September 15, 2021:

This is a very well-written poem portraying raw and painful emotions. Thank you for sharing, Maria.

MariaMontgomery (author) from Coastal Alabama, USA on September 15, 2021:

Thank you, Pamela. You're right, it IS horrid, and does not have to happen. I really appreciate your encouragement.

MariaMontgomery (author) from Coastal Alabama, USA on September 15, 2021:

Thank you so much, Misbah. This is the first poem I've ever written, and I was a bit nervous about publishing it. Your words of encouragement are so uplifting, and they mean a lot to me. Blessings to you, too.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on September 15, 2021:

This is a very touching poem, Maria. Domestic abuse is horrid, and it cause PTSD. I find this heartbreaking as do one deserves violence, especially with someone they thought loved them.

Misbah Sheikh from The World of Rebels. on September 15, 2021:

Maria, I enjoyed reading your poem. Poetry flows like a river, and you penned it beautifully. You are right that anything can bring it all back. Parting is painful, especially when there are high expectations. Love never hurts, it is beautiful and stays with us always from cradle to grave. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful poem.

Blessings!!

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