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A Time

Amani is a university student who loves writing. I have been writing since I was twelve. I love writing.

a-time

I think there once was a time I felt like the world was just right... Everything was great, even the air had an unusual fragrance, scented. Made breathing memorable, with each inhale.
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A time when I spoke much and it made sense although I didn't know what I was yapping about. But that smile off yours kept on saying " keep at it ".. A time when I was close to people and things actually mattered..
I didn't even try to be friendly, not even close to trying to be, but everything was just perfect......... More than perfect actually..
. Days I had great dreams.., weird but good dreams.
.. At times names and places would really set me on fire... Like get me smiling.. Really smiling... Oh the little things I couldn't explain...

All that's gone now,..
Not sure how but that seems like a long time ago.... Those dreams turned out to be nightmares that keep me up all night on most days.
Really don't know what happened to the scented air... Sometimes it just feels like the air is trying to choke me real quick... .
.. I don't really care about smiles real, am more worried about dental structures you'd actually think I want to be a dentist or something.....
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I don't talk much either... Much of that happens in my head which mainly results to migraines and lack of sleep.
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My safe places have been inhabited... Names that put smile are either gone or i just don't make contact anymore... Crazy but i feel like it was great while it lased, i can't have that back even if I wanted to , even if I fasted on it for a year.... It won't be the same..
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I wish things made sense everyone once on a while...... No, I wish I saw the sense every once in a while.... Maybe I'd believe....
Maybe I'd believe again.

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© 2020 Amani Utembu

Comments

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on December 29, 2020:

You are welcome. Take care.

Amani Utembu (author) from Nairobi -Kenya on December 29, 2020:

Thank you Brenda for the nice words

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on December 29, 2020:

Never stop believing.

Nothing stays the same but it can grow deeper into something so much more incredible.

Your smile will come back & the air will have a fragrant scent again.

Just fake a smile in the beginning & sit back enjoying each moment.

It will happen.

Love will finally embrace your heart.

Great to see you writing again.

Take care & Happy New Year !

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