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A Poem on Anxiety Causing Sleep Deprivation Called "Twilight Perpetua"

Updated on December 5, 2017
cwkage profile image

Old school poet. Loves rhymes. Loves Comics, Manga and Anime. Terrible at doodles. Fighting Depression, Dysthymia and Anxiety.

Night after night, I must battle this mob,

A hack and slash, me versus the horde, non stop.

And most times I lose so I stay up and think,

Is there something to smoke? Is there something to drink?

Kaage Doodles [ Twilight Perpetua ]
Kaage Doodles [ Twilight Perpetua ]

Twilight Perpetua

There's no escape from this rivered brain,

The rapids were never going to abstain,

But I'm so close to stupor and knocking it's door,

As the knob starts to turn I'm carried by the flow.

.

.
So I navigate the current to make my way back,

While the water constantly changes attacks,

If only that door could just let me through,

I could bid all of these thoughts adieu.

.

.
Night after night, I must battle this mob,

A hack and slash, me versus the horde, non stop.

And most times I lose so I stay up and think,

Is there something to smoke? Is there something to drink?

.

.
For the sun will soon rise and all the birds get their worms,

While dilapidated between scattered pillows and sheets I squirm,

But I must bring the bread, for the stomach doesn’t care,

Of what goes on in my head, or for that matter anywhere.

.

.
So dragging my feet, looking fresh and neat,

Walk with a smile and a fatigued heart that bleats.

Red eyes in pain behind walls of dark glass,

The river still flows turbulent behind the calm mask.

.

.
Just because this is the status quo,

Doesn’t make it okay for it to be so.

For pain is still pain, consistent or not,

We may say it in self loathing, but we don’t like to rot.

.

.
Or maybe there is a point where I’ll give up the fight.

Where healing is as productive as a mosquito bite.

Well it’s not happening now, so don’t know, don’t care!

I’ll think about it when I get there.

.

.
But what is this prison? What are it’s rules?

No warden, no prisoners, what do I do?

A broadcast only gives me stupid advice.

Pills! Sex! Masturbate! Drink the blood of 6 mice!

.

.
In this slumber casino I’m the gambler in debt,

Distracted by ads above as my coins get fed,

To these slot machine thoughts or thought machine slots,

Who cares the result is the same with every lot.

.

.
I concede to this stasis of no night and day,

This infinite murky swamp is my brain,

Where I wander forever, no compass no map,

And my soul a bear foot caught in a trap.

For the sun will soon rise and all the birds get their worms,

While dilapidated between scattered pillows and sheets I squirm,

But I must bring the bread, for the stomach doesn’t care,

Of what goes on in my head, or for that matter anywhere.

© 2017 C W Kage

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    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 4 days ago from london

    • cwkage profile image
      Author

      C W Kage 4 days ago

      @Ricardo Munn: Thank You.

      @manatita44: I would love to read his hub, where can I find it?

      I tried typing dreamon after the Hubpages url but I landed on a hub run by an Australian couple.

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 5 days ago from london

      You remind me of dream on, only that he is constantly trying to look up. Have a look at his blog/hub/poems.

      Noble effort on your part.

    • Ivaa profile image

      Ricardo Munn 2 weeks ago from Mumbai, India

      Very well written