A Poem for You, Mother: Bye For Now
Losing My Mom
I've written several articles over the years about the tumultuous background I came from as a child. Throughout the decades that have followed though, my mother and I were always able to keep a bond that lasted even to her death. She was always there for me if I needed to talk or share in writing some crazy event or story. She listened and to me, that was a priceless gift. I do believe that things always happen for a reason. We are given the people who pass through our lives for a greater purpose. I believe that all that happened in the time I got to share with my mom made me the person I am today. This is my tribute to her.
Bye for now, Mother.
Bye For Now
You used to end our phone calls that went on for hours with the words
Bye for now – except when you were angry with me.
I will remember those words forever and now find them hard to say out loud.
It seems strange to think of you no longer being there
Somewhere where I could reach you with just a phone call
Or a letter that had several "chapters" relating recent events.
I didn't know it would feel so horrible not to hear those words again.
I hadn't thought about having no one to send my "life episodes" to.
As mother/daughter relationships go, ours had its moments, high and low.
Scars from the past were always a little close to the surface.
We kept trying time and time again though for that bond – it always held.
No matter what happened between us, no matter the strife
I knew I could count on you, you knew the same, and I knew you loved me.
Our relationship was unique to have lived through so much.
Whatever the circumstance, I knew you always cared. You always showed up.
Bye for now.
Life is like a kaleidoscope, full of changing patterns and moments.
If we turn it, we can see something one moment and something else another.
Looking back on a life well lived myself, I see things differently sometimes.
I'd have rather not experienced the bad, but somehow in spite of it all
Those moments made me who I am today and for that, I am eternally grateful.
You stood for so much in terms of pride in oneself, love for the world we live in.
You had such great musical talent that it left people in awe and warmed their hearts.
No matter what life gave you, failure was not an option. You always survived.
If there was an honest opinion to be sought, you always delivered – and then some.
Through all the bad times, the sad times, the hard times and the blues
In the good times, the laugh-until-you-cry times, the funny stories-of-life times
You were always there, thinking of me, taking pride in me and loving me.
I know you cared, and I know you always thought of me – that made a difference.
You were never at a loss for words or lack of advice. I could write books on that.
Even if I didn't need it or want it, it was good to know you cared enough to share it.
Listening is an art I am still perfecting, and I had a good example in you many times.
I also learned from you the truism that perhaps really "less is more."
Better to have said something though than nothing at all.
Sometimes I didn't think I could go on, and yet you made me see I had to.
Bye for now.
I cannot imagine a world without you in it because you were one of a kind.
I know I have to let go because it would be unfair for you to linger and continue to suffer.
I wanted you to stay because I couldn't bear that hole left where you used to be.
There will always be a place in my head and in my heart where I go to talk to you.
I will always think of you when something goes right and share it with you.
I have learned to celebrate the triumphs and think less about what is not perfect.
No matter what I think of or how my thoughts end, I will always remember who you were.
I think back to some of the best times we shared and the joys we experienced;
Family gatherings, our children, places we've seen and all the people we met on the way.
Standing on shore listening to Orca whales breathing and seeing a miracle before us.
Watching from a berm on a snowy day with thousands of geese landing while some took flight
Meeting and greeting each other. We were spellbound – we could have watched for hours.
You and I will do that on another day somewhere, and we will again be awestruck.
I will say bye for now, but it will not be forever. I will see you again.
Rest in peace, Mother. You were always cherished, always loved and always appreciated.
You were who you were, and I have no doubt that I am who I am because of you.
Bye for now.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
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© 2019 Audrey Kirchner