A Poem called "Darkness"
Smoke so thick I can hardly breathe in this void
I stumble as I walk through the mist, moist, cold.
And destiny drinks my blood like a glass of wine.
Excruciating agony as I struggle to grasp my pain
Just like death, life is in vain.
And I feel shivers down my spine.
In it, dim light in a lantern of black gold
The core of light is a soul anciently old.
And the soul is mine.
In my back countless daggers
Of friends' and foes' design to strike like hammers.
And a thousand cuts burn me down just fine.
Mine, an endless sea of grief and rage
Yet I persist; refuse to live in a cage.
And I will always hold the front line.
In it, my ability to love.
Despite all odds, I'm flying above.
And the feeling is divine.
- A Poet in Attempt
~ About the Poem
This is essentially a self-made poem, created with one main cause: representation of my own everyday fight. Ever since I was old enough to remember, I've struggled, dancing on a thin wire between the light and the dark. At least two hundred feet above the ground, without a safety belt, without a partner. And every day, I'd have to look into the dark and unknown, painful and terrorizing. Every day, I'd have to find my way towards the light.
To find my way to shine, even when I feel it's worthless, even if it makes no sense at all. Day after day, after day, and after day.
I've never been able to express constant war inside of me, between the feeling of hopelessness and feeling of exhilaration; everything inside of me contradicts one another in a way that makes it impossible to put into words. Grief and happiness, heart and mind, tears and laugh, everything good and everything bad in this world.
This poem is an attempt to do so in an acceptable way.
This poem is a process I go through every single day of my life.
And maybe there are people out there who are able to understand it. Maybe someone can find a meaning.
© 2020 Ivana Divac