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A Parade Of Altars

Mistyck Moon is a freelance writer, photographer , Artist and traveling nomad.

a-parade-of-altars

Just To Be

They are there... on the inside

Just waiting for the opportunity to be-

Just to be.

They will rise out of the depths of their darkness

And shut me away....

A prisoner of my own body.

They have control once I am tucked away

In that darkness of sleep within chambers

Of their existence.


Be aware...

Some will pretend to play my role.

If you truly know me, they will be unsuccessful

Laughing once you've discovered their game.

While in darkness I lay within that chamber-

They take over my world

Implementing their own.


They will emanate an air

Of false security

While basking in the calmness

Of their existence.

I have no control.

Locked away in their chambers

I sleep... lost.


Panic overtakes me,

And fear overwhelms me

When I emerge from the darkness

Where I was held prisoner.

Yet, I must wear a facade

Of false confidence,

A mask of braveness

That is non-existent

As I await to see if their world

Collided negatively with mine.


I hide behind a masked smiling face

That shelters my frightened soul.

A fear I hide from the world

With a nonchalant sophisticated facade

Of confidence, and an air of coolness

As I face the consequences of their worlds

That have collided with mine

Causing confusion, curiosity and hesitance

From those around me.


Yet, if they were embraced with love,

Understanding, and acceptance,

Then I will be embraced with the same,

And the fear will dissapate as I realize

Our worlds embraced each other

United for our common cause....

To love, to be loved, and to be accepted

For who we are,

Just as we are.


When followed by acceptance,

When followed by love,

It may liberate my soul

And light the dark chambers

That imprisons us from within.

I long for sweet assurance

That I am worthy of love-

That I am worthwhile of your time.


I fight against my fear

Of being laughed at-

And your laugh will enjoy

My ridiculed tortured soul.

I dare not allow you entrance for fear

that deep down I will find that I am nothing….

And you will reject who I truly am.


So I play the game…

My desperate pretending game-

A façade of assurance outwardly-

A trembling child within.

Do not be fooled.

Reach out your hand with understanding,

Wipe away the unseen tears,

And calm the trembling child within.

Every act of kindness and encouragement,

Will breathe life into a soul with many souls

Longing to be free... to just be.


I just want to be me...

And they who live within me

Just want to be who they are.

We are many souls

Sharing one body,

Experiencing individual worlds

Wanting, longing, fighting to be free....

Just to be.




a-parade-of-altars

© 2019 Amada Gonzalez

Comments

Amada Gonzalez (author) from Quartzsite on August 17, 2019:

Thank you so much Lorna for your comment. It has taken me many years to accept all parts that make me who I am. It is a life journey that I am proud of.

Lorna Lamon on August 08, 2019:

Your poem is touching, poignant and real. There is a deep sense of acceptance for who we are which runs throughout the poem. Loved it.

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