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A New Year And Still The Same Old Me

Don't Change What We Like

Everybody thinks

A new year a new beginning

A fresh start

Another chance at doing something right

I like to think a little different

How about continuing what we have always done

Over the years we seem to forget

We have done many good things

It is easy to remember the bad

Beating ourselves up for all our mistakes

Wishing thing turned out better than they did

The truth is we tried our best

Sometimes our best wasn't good enough

We learned to hang in there

Take our lumps so we say

Slowly learning from our mistakes

Sometimes forgetting all too quickly

What we did wrong

Trying all we can to move on

If it is something that hurt us greatly

To keep us from losing our mind

We had to make some kind of sense of it

If we couldn't come up with a good answer

It was easier to forget

Then to let the sad things eat away at us

Piece by piece

A little here and there

Reminding us we are not perfect

That we don't do things always the right way

We have to face our deepest fears

Turn those rolling tears

Into small little cheers

For we are still the same person

Who survived every little bump on the head

Every fall that swept our feet from under us

That knocked us almost out

Sucked the air from our lungs

Like it was our last breath

We some how managed to get up

Go on with the day

Look ourselves in the mirror

Through the odd pimples that pop up

At fifty- eight this can't be happening

I am only fifty- seven

Oops I had to correct my mistake

This time I will leave it

To show I have seen it

I changed it

I learned from it

It is what it is

There is little we can do about it

We have learned how to cope with stress

Since as early as I can remember

Things weren't always the way

I had hoped and dreamed

Actually it was quite the opposite

Other people seemed to find the magic

The secrets that make them better

I not only accepted the truth

I knew some how today was going to be more of the same

That a part of me

Sad as it may be

Will not change

I have told myself over and over and over

Year after year

This year is going to be different

I will be better

I have to be better

I can be better

What I have failed to see

Is I am better

I was so busy seeing what was wrong

I had continued to look at my life

With the same old eyes

Not realizing the little ever so little changes

That made me who I am today

The almost silent rewards of sweet joy

That I did not see

How could I ?

I didn't dare to ever look?

I had to keep my eye on the prize

I kept on comparing myself with other people

It was a an old bad habit I couldn't shake

Instead I knew the real truth

The only person I had to compare myself to

Yes, you are right

Was the old me

All this time I had made one mistake

I forget how to take a fresh look

It was easy to see all the good other people did

The crazy part is I never stayed around long enough

To see their mistakes

Their worst nightmares

So I only saw what I wanted to see

So now being a lot older and wiser

I had no choice but to be forced to see different

I could no longer look at the computer screen

I had to reach for the eye glasses

To see what I had typed

It was right in front of me

The whole time

A better version of myself

So you caught me

I left for a few minutes

To get a pillow for my aching back

I do have a foot cramp that comes and goes

I feel a stiffness in my neck that won't seem to go away

I get up more often in the middle of the night

Just to go pee

Then again the same person

Continues to believe

We are all basically good

We all have our faults

I forgot to feed our cat Charlotte

She must of been starving

Since she last ate

Even though it was just a few short hours ago

She would want us to believe

That she hasn't eaten in days

I am still here

Trying all I can

To make it clear

There will always be more good inside of me than bad

I will always try to help someone in need

Even if it is only with kind words and helpful hints

I do put myself last

I care more about other people than myself

It is in my nature

To live to make other people happy

Don't get me wrong

Through these greatest gifts

I receive great joy

Real and never fake

True happiness

There comes a time

When there will be no more time

I recently heard of Betty White's passing

She lived to be 99

She would have turned 100 on January 17th

She came so close

Here it is the first of January

She lived a long life

She managed to bring many people joy

Part of me has a deep feeling of sadness

To feel her loss

Then a bigger part of me

Feels all the good

How she changed people she knew and did not know

Life is that way

We just will never know

All the happiness that we spread

Until it's too late

Unless we take a step back

Be proud of all we have done

Take the good, bad and the ugly

In one great stride

Without one we couldn't have the other

Now with fresh eyes

As we look at this new day

Let us pray

Thank you God for helping us see

This beautiful world with all it's blunders

So we can make a difference

Changing the world to make it better than when we started

In some small but significant way

© 2022 DREAM ON