A Girl's Story - A Poem

This one is dedicated to Nenette, Rhona, Agnes, Justina, and their men, who continue to forge forward through their children's children.

This story starts in a village somewhere

On a paradise coast under sun’s glare

A little girl sat between her momma’s knees

On their yard under coconut tree

Daddy shirtless swagger at the back door

Hearing his woman gently reassure

Her daughter, hands cupping the little face

Wide trusting eyes and full of grace

“You are so beautiful, our little treasure.

Your possibilities beyond measure

You can be, do anything you want

Protect your soul, never recant

What daddy taught you

How to clear the path before you

Firm and patient, for the demons within

Need understanding in the face of their sin

Trust your conscience, embrace your light

Chin up, eyes open so you can fight

When others seek to focus on flaws

Have faith in your lineage and set your laws

Don’t run from the truth or you’ll be running forever

Avoid birds of a tarnished feather

Above all, meditate, get to know yourself

For therein lies your real wealth”

Words of wisdom from mother and father

Seeking to guide their precious daughter

As she sits at their knees, only six years old

Absorbing their ways more precious than gold

She dreamed of her future as mom plaited her hair

Dad smiled at his women through bittersweet tears

For the pain of his little girl growing up

Knowing she would drink from the bitter cup

Of life soon, seeking to taint his innocent child

So full of questions, and lacking in guile

But wanting to grow up like mummy and daddy

Call her own shots and live like a baddie

Get a good man, fall in love and party

Together, Forever, Through thick and thin

So she left home, hooked up at seventeen

But picked the wrong one. He didn’t have it in him

To love or cherish, respect or honour

He looked and smelled pretty, polish and glamour

And so, this is where the story began

A forward spiral, she took his hand

“What’s up daughter?”, he said with a smile

She said the rest , now it’s been a while

Since he nudged an inch, and she gave a mile

Another lost soul caught up in the wild

Of the substance of parties and liquor and sex

After years she’s a ghost, floating under a hex

Eyes open…not seeing, Heart beating…no feeling

In tired ears, not quite understanding

Her dried fingers grasping at the fleeting

Straws of the fancy Zombies promising

The best fulfillment a minute can buy

Still, lately she’s been asking the reason why

She doesn’t know what day it is, and can’t seem to stay high

Enough to ignore her open thighs

Thoughts all muddled in her head

Cracked lips uttering words with no thread

Body tired from years of doing

Being overdone, her undoing

Brain seized from lack of working

On some plan for a future lurking

But she’s a fighter, a trooper, a scruff

Fed up everyday of not doing the stuff

She dreamed of at her momma’s knee

So one day, she said, “I’ve got to be free

Of this self-imposed slavery”

Reaching out to mummy and daddy

“Please come for me”

She said, “Daddy you taught me that I must

Call on the ancients for help and then trust

Myself to do good, to do good for myself

Instead of living for everyone else

I’m in a dark place, can’t seem to get out

On my own, I’m stuck on this route

I don’t want to die here, I’m so afraid

I won’t fix those past mistake I’ve made.”

Then, mom drew her into a warm embrace

She shushed her child, and kissed her face

“My daughter”, she said. “It is not too late

But It is up to you to change your fate

You have life, and our love, we’re here for you

But you have to love yourself too

Don’t lie to yourself about yesterday

Use those mistakes to plan your way

Face the truth of your troubled past

So you’re ready this time, even if it comes in a mask”

So your girl hauled ass, she got herself proud

Living under the sun again, now she’s laughing loud

No pretending, for she still hears the sound

Of ghosts from the past, they’ll be forever around

But loving and purpose is a powerful thing

So to drown them out, today she sings

Clean and pretty again, as if washed by rain

Nature’s baptism soothing the pain

Colors of life now shining bright

Clear light of day, and future in sight

Her face lights up as she reflects

In her garden, planning what’s next

This just my story to let you know

Don’t lose hope, tend to your glow

Through the years it becomes easier too

To plan for your life, and not life planning for you

For me today the innocent and the beast

Can sit together at the feast

Loving each other all parts of the soul

Beautiful together, making one whole

The ancestors already made this trod

Our conscience is their message to us by God

Amid all the noises

Of easy poor choices

The incessant buzz

Of “everyone does…”

Designed to make you forget

How you started and had your thing set

Looking back I realise

It took falling hard to make me wise

In the end we must let it all go

To seek and find ourselves and to know

To protect and secure our peace

Through solitude and quiet thought bringing release

For there is no longer any doubt

In my happy heart past voices answering shout

To love oneself in and out

Is what we should be all about

© 2021 Toni Newton