A Girl's Story - A Poem
This one is dedicated to Nenette, Rhona, Agnes, Justina, and their men, who continue to forge forward through their children's children.
This story starts in a village somewhere
On a paradise coast under sun’s glare
A little girl sat between her momma’s knees
On their yard under coconut tree
Daddy shirtless swagger at the back door
Hearing his woman gently reassure
Her daughter, hands cupping the little face
Wide trusting eyes and full of grace
“You are so beautiful, our little treasure.
Your possibilities beyond measure
You can be, do anything you want
Protect your soul, never recant
What daddy taught you
How to clear the path before you
Firm and patient, for the demons within
Need understanding in the face of their sin
Trust your conscience, embrace your light
Chin up, eyes open so you can fight
When others seek to focus on flaws
Have faith in your lineage and set your laws
Don’t run from the truth or you’ll be running forever
Avoid birds of a tarnished feather
Above all, meditate, get to know yourself
For therein lies your real wealth”
Words of wisdom from mother and father
Seeking to guide their precious daughter
As she sits at their knees, only six years old
Absorbing their ways more precious than gold
She dreamed of her future as mom plaited her hair
Dad smiled at his women through bittersweet tears
For the pain of his little girl growing up
Knowing she would drink from the bitter cup
Of life soon, seeking to taint his innocent child
So full of questions, and lacking in guile
But wanting to grow up like mummy and daddy
Call her own shots and live like a baddie
Get a good man, fall in love and party
Together, Forever, Through thick and thin
So she left home, hooked up at seventeen
But picked the wrong one. He didn’t have it in him
To love or cherish, respect or honour
He looked and smelled pretty, polish and glamour
And so, this is where the story began
A forward spiral, she took his hand
“What’s up daughter?”, he said with a smile
She said the rest , now it’s been a while
Since he nudged an inch, and she gave a mile
Another lost soul caught up in the wild
Of the substance of parties and liquor and sex
After years she’s a ghost, floating under a hex
Eyes open…not seeing, Heart beating…no feeling
In tired ears, not quite understanding
Her dried fingers grasping at the fleeting
Straws of the fancy Zombies promising
The best fulfillment a minute can buy
Still, lately she’s been asking the reason why
She doesn’t know what day it is, and can’t seem to stay high
Enough to ignore her open thighs
Thoughts all muddled in her head
Cracked lips uttering words with no thread
Body tired from years of doing
Being overdone, her undoing
Brain seized from lack of working
On some plan for a future lurking
But she’s a fighter, a trooper, a scruff
Fed up everyday of not doing the stuff
She dreamed of at her momma’s knee
So one day, she said, “I’ve got to be free
Of this self-imposed slavery”
Reaching out to mummy and daddy
“Please come for me”
She said, “Daddy you taught me that I must
Call on the ancients for help and then trust
Myself to do good, to do good for myself
Instead of living for everyone else
I’m in a dark place, can’t seem to get out
On my own, I’m stuck on this route
I don’t want to die here, I’m so afraid
I won’t fix those past mistake I’ve made.”
Then, mom drew her into a warm embrace
She shushed her child, and kissed her face
“My daughter”, she said. “It is not too late
But It is up to you to change your fate
You have life, and our love, we’re here for you
But you have to love yourself too
Don’t lie to yourself about yesterday
Use those mistakes to plan your way
Face the truth of your troubled past
So you’re ready this time, even if it comes in a mask”
So your girl hauled ass, she got herself proud
Living under the sun again, now she’s laughing loud
No pretending, for she still hears the sound
Of ghosts from the past, they’ll be forever around
But loving and purpose is a powerful thing
So to drown them out, today she sings
Clean and pretty again, as if washed by rain
Nature’s baptism soothing the pain
Colors of life now shining bright
Clear light of day, and future in sight
Her face lights up as she reflects
In her garden, planning what’s next
This just my story to let you know
Don’t lose hope, tend to your glow
Through the years it becomes easier too
To plan for your life, and not life planning for you
For me today the innocent and the beast
Can sit together at the feast
Loving each other all parts of the soul
Beautiful together, making one whole
The ancestors already made this trod
Our conscience is their message to us by God
Amid all the noises
Of easy poor choices
The incessant buzz
Of “everyone does…”
Designed to make you forget
How you started and had your thing set
Looking back I realise
It took falling hard to make me wise
In the end we must let it all go
To seek and find ourselves and to know
To protect and secure our peace
Through solitude and quiet thought bringing release
For there is no longer any doubt
In my happy heart past voices answering shout
To love oneself in and out
Is what we should be all about
© 2021 Toni Newton