A Friend with a Mirror: A Poem

Updated on May 11, 2018
ValKaras profile image

Val is a life-long practically oriented student of effective emotional and attitudinal responses to the many challenges of life.

In many years of observing human race

I also tried to be as supportive as I could

but some friends were gone with no trace

then it took me a while, but I understood.


The way I treat myself is how I treat my friend

not sugarcoating my contribution to any crap

always making sure that I fully understand

why I am insisting on staying in my trap.


That may piss some folks as they expect pity

while I provide a mirror, not a facial tissue

not to join their story of life being shitty

but urging them to face that issue.


For, anyone's victim image I'll never support

even if that would miss definition of a friend

while my words of pity always appear short

with just a shiny mirror in my friendly hand.

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    • ValKaras profile image
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      Vladimir Karas 9 days ago from Canada

      Paula, my friend---Thank you for the nice and smart poem contributing to the theme of the one above. In my writings I could have said many times those words of criticism about so called "human condition", but those were awakening words, not the ones of intolerance.

      Just like we might view some qualities in our children that are not really life-promoting, and we may point to them about their need to do something about it-- we still love them, and we do it out of love, not because we are pissed at their not being up to our expectations.

      So is my love for the mankind, and if I didn't genuinely love them, then most of my writings would be a sheer hypocritical trash. It hurts me to see people suffer, it doesn't make me a "better person" by providing them a mirror.

      After all, they are in my world, in my galactic habitat, and I'd like to see more harmony in the world I call mine.

      Thus, let's not go too harsh about folks who, in the words of someone on the cross "should be forgiven because they don't know what they are doing".

      Again, thanks , my friend, you always add to this commenting space something of your heart, and that I appreciate.

    • ValKaras profile image
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      Vladimir Karas 9 days ago from Canada

      Shanmarie---At one or another point of life we all needed that mirror, instead of being told those empty words picked from sympathy cards. But yes, those who might provide that mirror could have run a risk of losing our friendship, because it was misunderstood as being "heartless".

      However, here we are with our life lessons, and now it's up to me to thank you for your words of praise. You are a fine human being Shanmarie, and whatever you went through just made you stronger, not broken.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 9 days ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Val, My good friend, the fact is now clear.

      Our attitudes & outlook on so much of life

      Make us kindred spirits without question or fear.

      I see through the veils of those who pretend

      and wear their masks of phony smiles

      Trying to fool & play roles from a script,

      they cannot see they run backward for miles.

      They try to convince they're unique with some gift

      When in wisdom I know, they're a foolish lost soul

      They can mouth empty words & TALK all day

      But at the end of that day, those words fall into a hole

      If the truth that I offer causes them pain

      I won't back down and I will not pamper

      I hold up that mirror & like an oncoming train

      they have to see evidence~they dare not tamper.

      We can only try to help them open their eyes

      to see how the role of a victim becomes who they are

      until they awaken and break free from the lies

      They continue to struggle not progressing very far.

      If I am seen as the "bad guy," So-Be-It, I say,

      I simply won't sugar-coat nor coddle false ego

      I'd rather stand tall and be on my way

      I'll shake my head, and wave as I go, "Adios, Amigo!"

      Val....Please know I appreciate you. There are so few authentic people left to understand what REALLY matters in REAL life. Common sense has become much too difficult for most people anymore............Peace, Paula

    • shanmarie profile image

      shanmarie 9 days ago

      Hi Val,

      This one caught my attention because I have been the one who needed the mirror. I've thought about writing a hub. Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. It wasn't not easy to admit to myself that I had developed that kind of mentality. I was the one who told my friend after my house burned to the ground that I'd seen worse and it was no big deal in the grand scheme of things. She said, "Only you would say that. " I was the one whose aunt once told her that her grandma said she and a particular her cousin were her favorites because of her vivacious personality. The one who doesn't complain. And then one day, I was suddenly so overwhelmed, isolated, and withdrawn that I lost site of who I am. Started over-thinking everything.

      So I say to you, you are a true friend. An honest mirror is better than smoke and mirrors any day. Even if it takes a while for a friend to see it.

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