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A Finalized Divorce

I can't seem to stop writing poetry or reading poetry. I think it is safe to say I love poetry and I love sharing great poetry with others.

a-finalized-divorce

We realize life is not a race

to stop wasting time on a worthless fight

and give ourselves an out from staff and rod.

a-finalized-divorce

I.

A distant email held the news today

my final divorce decree had come

hopefully each of us an equal sum

our lives momentum finding a true way.

I let the mint alone in the kitchen die

along with notions of a happy end

there's nothing really there for us to mend

I read this legal font without a sigh.

The reality of notice sinks in

a sudden liberation holds its sway

an amazing power held within words

open my heart to see family within

my children trying to hold this mishandled clay

or build bird houses out of empty gourds.

a-finalized-divorce

2.

It has been awhile since we have stood here

to see our son as he walks across stage

a graduation pointing out his age

so close yet separated by our fear.

We have both seen the play and read the script

a declaration of sorts a calling

to hook to world well grounded while falling

or sew a fraying fabric that is ripped.

Everyday anguish reads in my face

if only for a moment in the night

as I surrender myself to my God.

Our lives move forward at marathon pace

and our son, Sam, will walk from our sight

his diploma the tool to push and prod.

a-divorce-pantoum

3.

To sit some years later with my inlaws

to celebrate the birthday of Grandma

a couple of years after my eyes saw

the mail with finalization its cause.

Though eyes are sunken and empty of tears

the trampoline here these kids still play on

to pick green apples or play on the lawn

maybe these moment will erode my fears

maybe these moments will strengthen my faith

both of us trying to figure things out

even care cannot mop up all our times.

Always the four of us never a fifth

an even number sometimes feels some doubt

to forget those years of our marriage crimes.

© 2019 Jamie Lee Hamann

Comments

Ann Carr from SW England on April 23, 2019:

Sad, heart-rending, beautiful....

You have such a way with words and your writing has developed to such a depth since I've been reading your work here on HP. I remember doing those drawings about Sam and your dogs - now I read he's graduated! Amazing, and congratulations to him. Also to you for your writing.

Ann

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on April 11, 2019:

This was a captivating poem, full of memories and hurts and a child so dear. I love your poetry.

Jamie Lee Hamann (author) from Reno NV on April 09, 2019:

Thank you Diane and Harish for reading. I am appreciative and grateful. Jamie

Harish Mamgain from New Delhi , India on April 08, 2019:

Jamie , these verses , though filled with poignancy , speaks very softly of the past and longing for peace in the present. Very touching my friend !

Dianna Mendez on April 08, 2019:

Tears filled my eyes as I read your story. I pray you find healing over time and know how much you are valued by others.

Jamie Lee Hamann (author) from Reno NV on April 06, 2019:

Thank you Amani, Verlie, John and Bill for your comments. I am truly appreciative. Jamie

Jamie Lee Hamann (author) from Reno NV on April 06, 2019:

Thank you Amani.

Amani Utembu from Nairobi -Kenya on April 06, 2019:

Wow.. Heart breaking but lovely.. Great piece. Loved it

Verlie Burroughs from Canada on April 06, 2019:

Jamie, I read this with a deep sigh. Your command of verse is stunning. Life holds no guarantee for perfect harmony, instead there is reality. I'm happy to see you writing here for poetry month, and sharing your truth so openly. I also love the way you've illustrated this particular poem with these strangely familiar images, like a storm just blew in and upset everything.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on April 06, 2019:

Sad but very real poetry Jamie. Thank you for sharing this emotional account. All the best.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on April 06, 2019:

Beautiful writing, my friend...sad memories, many of which I share....hopefully the years ahead are filled with peace of mind and happiness.