A Finalized Divorce

We realize life is not a race

to stop wasting time on a worthless fight

and give ourselves an out from staff and rod.

A distant email held the news today

my final divorce decree had come

hopefully each of us an equal sum

our lives momentum finding a true way.

I let the mint alone in the kitchen die

along with notions of a happy end

there's nothing really there for us to mend

I read this legal font without a sigh.

The reality of notice sinks in

a sudden liberation holds its sway

an amazing power held within words

open my heart to see family within

my children trying to hold this mishandled clay

or build bird houses out of empty gourds.

It has been awhile since we have stood here

to see our son as he walks across stage

a graduation pointing out his age

so close yet separated by our fear.

We have both seen the play and read the script

a declaration of sorts a calling

to hook to world well grounded while falling

or sew a fraying fabric that is ripped.

Everyday anguish reads in my face

if only for a moment in the night

as I surrender myself to my God.

Our lives move forward at marathon pace

and our son, Sam, will walk from our sight

his diploma the tool to push and prod.

To sit some years later with my inlaws

to celebrate the birthday of Grandma

a couple of years after my eyes saw

the mail with finalization its cause.

Though eyes are sunken and empty of tears

the trampoline here these kids still play on

to pick green apples or play on the lawn

maybe these moment will erode my fears

maybe these moments will strengthen my faith

both of us trying to figure things out

even care cannot mop up all our times.

Always the four of us never a fifth

an even number sometimes feels some doubt

to forget those years of our marriage crimes.